Fry & Elder Tulsa Law Firm

Divorce, Child Custody, Protective Orders, Criminal Defense

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Divorcing a Control Freak in Oklahoma Requires Strategy

It has been well documented that divorcing a narcissist can be a very difficult obstacle to overcome. With that said, divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma presents a whole new bag of issues and challenges for many individuals, as a “my way or the highway” attitude is the calling card of many control freaks.

Divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma

Simply put: this is not the type of mindset any party should be subjected to in what is supposed to be a shared and committed relationship.

If you or someone close to you is trying to end a relationship with a control freak, our experienced and accomplished team of Tulsa divorce attorneys at Fry & Elder empathize with the challenges you are facing and wish to offer some strategies to incorporate when divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma.

Self-Preservation is a Must

If you have been involved in a serious relationship with a control freak, chances are your self-esteem has taken a hit. This, however, should not be the case.

By seeking to end the toxic relationship, you have taken arguably the biggest step in reclaiming your life.

Keep moving forward.

Seek out friends and family to interact with and lean on, particularly during rough times. Think about trying out different activities such as taking up CrossFit, a cooking class or attending a Meetup group which will allow you to further showcase your individualism and newfound independence.

Tulsa immigration law

Document Everything

Whether you are divorcing a narcissist or a control freak, it is important that you keep records of all correspondence, including text messages, emails, voicemails and social media messaging/posts. This will help you further validate and reinforce your ex’s controlling patterns.

Documentation could also be particularly useful to your attorney when he or she advocates for you in court or in mediation.

Establish Boundaries

This likely won’t be easy, but establishing boundaries will be vital in your quest to terminate a relationship with a control freak.

One boundary you could establish would be to limit correspondence to only one communication channel (email) to correspond with your ex. You may even want to take it a step further and limit communication with your ex to just one day per week.

If you have children, another boundary you likely would want to implement would be to have a neutral pickup and drop-off location that’s open to the public so that you have witnesses should your ex act hostile toward you.

Annual Association of Family and Conciliation Courts Conference

Understand the Core Issue Behind a Controlling Personality

In establishing boundaries and limitations, it is important to understand that at the root of most control freaks are deeply-rooted issues with anxiety.

As Psychology Today pointed out in a 2015 article:

“While there are some out there who are controlling because they are into power or feel entitled and expect the world to go their way, for most controlling people it’s all about anxiety. Control is a bad solution—but it’s not the problem.

“Often such people grew up in chaotic environments, or with anxious or even abusive parents. As children they walked on eggshells, looking over their shoulders. To cope, they became hypervigilant—always on alert, always anticipating problems.”

Why the Need for an Experienced Attorney When Divorcing a Control Freak in Oklahoma

Divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma or anywhere else presents a difficult set of challenges, making it all the more imperative to consult with an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney as soon as possible.

Fry & Elder’s team of family law attorneys are some of the most decorated in the state and include the following:

Fry & Elder has also been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List each of the past five years.

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an established and experienced Tulsa divorce attorney.

Fry & Elder Back In Business At Robert G Fry Jr. Center for Trial Studies

The Robert G Fry Jr. Center for Trial Studies is re-open for business.

Robert G Fry Jr. Center for Trial Studies

The elite Tulsa law firm of Fry & Elder will be moving back to its former 1630 S. Main Street Tulsa location, the Robert G Fry Jr. Center for Trial Studies, where it resided for two brief but memorable years from 2015-2017 by the end of the month.

“Very happy to be moving back to the 1630 location,” Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. said. “From a financial perspective, moving back to this location makes the most sense. I feel the greatest advantage, however, for me is that I will be able to see everyone daily just walking down the hall. I believe our culture will be much stronger at this location which is vital to the success and morale of any workplace. It will feel much more like home.”

Fry & Elder, which has been named to the illustrious U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List for five consecutive years, will continue to feature an acclaimed lineup of attorneys who have won many awards and accolades during their legal careers.

Joining Fry at the 1630 S. Main Street location will be James R. Elder, Aaron D. Bundy, Lorena Rivas, T. Luke Barteaux, Katie Egan, Amy Page and Ruth Calvillo.

Fry & Elder’s talented legal support team of Joyce Caldwell, Judy Willits, Allison Smith, Kathy Keener, Rosie Renteria, Esther Salas and Amy Figueroa will also relocate with Fry & Elder’s experienced team of attorneys at 1630 S. Main Street.

The group is so respected and accomplished in the legal community that Caldwell and Willits were the subject of a recent feature story by the Tulsa Business & Legal News.

“We all work well together and respect one another’s talents and abilities,” Barteaux said. “I think we are all excited to begin a new chapter at Fry & Elder.”

The vaunted Tulsa law firm will return to 1630 S. Main Street riding a tidal wave of legal momentum.

Rivas has solidified herself as one of the premier Oklahoma immigration law attorneys and was the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Fern Holland Award.

Now in his 50th year of practice, Fry remains one of the best and most established Tulsa divorce attorneys. He is one of only 19 attorneys in the state to be a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and was the 2016 Best Lawyers® Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Oklahoma. Fry was also a Significant Sig Award Winner in 2017.

Barteaux became the firm’s first and only attorney to be sworn in as a judge when he was appointed Cherokee Nation District Judge in 2017. He was reappointed by the Cherokee Nation Tribal Council in February of 2018.

Bundy was the co-winner of the 2017 Earl Sneed Award, while Page is the 2018 Tulsa County Bar Association Family Law Section Chair, and the 2018 and 2019 OBA FLS CLE Chair.

All total, Fry & Elder features four lawyers who have garnered Super Lawyers® accolades and three AV-Rated attorneys. Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with a proven and experienced Tulsa attorney at the Robert G Fry Jr. Center for Trial Studies.

Fighting A False, Frivolous Oklahoma Protective Order

Long before Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. became a distinguished Tulsa family law attorney, he served as the Chief Public Defender for Tulsa County. The skills Fry acquired as a criminal defense attorney certainly have not diminished. He is a highly skilled Tulsa protective order defense attorney.

Fry not only successfully defended a client from a protective order, the sought-after divorce attorney was able to turn the tables on the petitioner and have the Tulsa protective order ruled as frivolous.

Tulsa protective order defense attorney

The court stated:

“The court finds Petitioner filed this Protective Order action against Defendant to ‘retaliate’ against Petitioner’s wife and her family and to cover and distract from his own violations of the emergency protective order then in effect against him. The Court finds Petitioner filed the instant protective order action frivolously and no victim exists.”

This ruling opens the door for the Respondent (defendant) to secure attorney fees against the Petitioner, which Fry said his client fully intends to do.

“It’s an unusual case, which has a lot of moving parts,” Fry said, “A request for a frivolous ruling from the court is unusual, primarily because most people don’t know that it is available and must be alleged in a response to an emergency protective order.”

Oklahoma Protective Orders Trending Up

Oklahoma protective orders are on the rise. The Tulsa World reported in 2017 that protective orders in Tulsa County “doubled from 2015 and 2016.”

As an acclaimed Oklahoma law firm, which has been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s elite Best Law Firms List every year since 2014, Fry & Elder understands the significant importance protective orders have as a legal boundary for victims to protect themselves against psychological and physical abuse.

However, there also are times when protective orders might be abused.

Protective orders intersect family law with criminal law. Though not always the case, protective orders can be misused as a means for a spouse or family member to get you out of the house or to get emergency custody of children.

Fry & Elder’s experienced team of Oklahoma family law and criminal defense attorneys want you to know that the ramifications of having a protective order filed against you can be detrimental.

Below is some information you need to know about Oklahoma protective orders.

Tulsa Protective Order Defense Attorney Explains Protective Orders

Protective orders in Oklahoma are defined and governed by the “Protection from Domestic Abuse Act.” Protective orders are typically entered against a family or household member when a victim has experienced or feels a threat of:

  • Domestic violence
  • Harassment
  • Stalking
  • Sexual assault

There are two types of protective orders which can be filed in Oklahoma: an emergency ex parte order of protection and a final or permanent order of protection.

What Having a Tulsa Protective Order Filed Against You Means?

Having a protective order filed against you can have very serious consequences which can potentially affect your parenting rights and employment opportunities.

Once a protective order has been served, the defendant may not have contact with the person protected by the order until the protective order is lifted. Violation of a protective order can result in criminal charges.

Oklahoma protective orders are initially heard on an “ex parte” basis, which means the defendant (the person who is accused of abuse, stalking, or harassment) has no opportunity to be heard or to challenge the protective order when it is first filed. When the protective order is granted, a court hearing date is set by the judge and the protective order petition, order, and notice of the hearing is set for service upon the defendant. A trial will be held at that set date and time to determine if a protective order is necessary.

If a permanent protective order is granted there is a chance you could lose your job and your professional license in certain circumstances. You also will no longer be legally allowed to possess or transport a firearm.

Protective orders are serious and the violation of a protective order can bring about even greater consequences.

What are the Consequences of Violating an Oklahoma Protective Order?

If you have had a protective order filed against you, it is important that you understand the serious nature of it and contact a proven Oklahoma protective order defense attorney to help you challenge it. Violation of a protective order can result in the following:

  • 1st offense: misdemeanor, up to one year in jail and a fine of up to $1,000
  • 1st offense resulting in injury: misdemeanor, 20 days to one year in jail and a fine of up to $5,000
  • 2nd offense: felony, 1 to 3 years in prison and a fine of $2,000 to $10,000
  • 2nd offense resulting in injury: felony, 1 to 5 years in prison and a fine of $3,000 to $10,000  

Oklahoma alimony support

Why Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

With roots dating back to 1932, Fry & Elder has long epitomized Oklahoma legal excellence in family law, criminal law, and personal injury law. The firm and its attorneys have been the subject of 36 articles by various Oklahoma media outlets since 2014.

Although Fry is considered an elite Tulsa protective order defense attorney, the firm’s lineup of attorneys is are all well experienced. They include:

Among the many titles and accomplishments Fry & Elder trial lawyers have recently collected include the following:

If you think you have been the victim of a false or frivolous Oklahoma protective order, we encourage you to contact Fry & Elder as soon as possible to set up an immediate consultation with a proven Tulsa protective order defense attorney.

Why A Qualified Domestic Relations Order Is Important In A Divorce

If you are contemplating or are on the brink of going through a divorce, and you want to ensure that you will receive your Erisa-qualified retirement assets, you would be wise to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared by an experienced and knowledgeable team of Tulsa family law attorneys.

Qualified Domestic Relations Order

Below are a few answers to some of the more commonly asked question about Quality Domestic Relations Orders or QDROs from the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder.

What is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order and why the need for one?

The fact of the matter is going through a divorce is difficult enough without the added pressure of dividing retirement funds. If a premarital agreement was not written up then generally any assets that have been acquired by either party during a marriage are considered marital. Things like contributions to a retirement plan by the employee or employer are included.

QDROs are important documents because they are required for things for 401(k)s, pensions, 403(b)s and some other retirement plans that you might have set up with your company.

Why consult with an experienced family law attorney to draft out a Qualified Domestic Relations Order?

Like a lot of things associated with divorce and specifically the financial aspects of divorce, QDROs are more complex than you might initially think.

While there are some outlets that include model language on how a QDRO should be written up, an experienced family law attorney will help minimize the risks of any potential errors. This is all the more important through the review and approval process before you hand it over to the court to be signed as an order and ultimately get it incorporated into the Final Judgement of Dissolution of Marriage.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Since 1932, the name Fry & Elder has been synonymous with Oklahoma legal excellence.

The firm has been named to highly-regarded U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List each of the past five years and its attorneys include the following:

As you can see, the division of retirement assets during a divorce can be tricky and time consuming, making it all the more important to utilize the services of a well versed Tulsa family law attorney, particularly to make sure that everything is properly divided through the implementation of a well thought out Qualified Domestic Relations Order.

Contact Fry & Elder today to get started on your Qualified Domestic Relations Order.

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