Planning for the future is an essential step in ensuring that your assets are distributed according to your wishes after you pass away. A last will and testament is the primary legal document that dictates how your estate will be handled. While there are do-it-yourself options available, consulting with an experienced Tulsa estate planning attorney offers significant advantages that can help you avoid legal pitfalls and protect your loved ones. 

Fry & Elder’s team of attorneys are both knowledgeable and experienced in helping navigate one through the legal landscape of Tulsa estate planning and developing a concrete last will and testament. Here’s why legal guidance is essential when drafting your will in Oklahoma.

1. Compliance with Oklahoma State Laws

Each state has specific laws regarding the creation and execution of a valid will. Oklahoma law requires that a will be:

• Created by a person who is at least 18 years old and of sound mind
• Signed by the testator (the person making the will)
• Witnessed by at least two individuals who are not beneficiaries

An attorney ensures your will meets all these legal requirements, reducing the risk of it being contested or invalidated in probate court.

2. Avoiding Common Pitfalls and Disputes

A poorly drafted will can lead to confusion, legal battles, and even family disputes. Oklahoma courts may need to interpret unclear provisions, leading to unintended consequences. A lawyer ensures that your wishes are clearly documented and legally enforceable, preventing misunderstandings among your heirs.

3. Addressing Complex Financial and Family Situations

If you own a business, have a large estate, or have blended family dynamics, a basic will may not be sufficient. A Tulsa estate attorney can help with:

• Business succession planning
• Providing for minor children or special needs dependents
• Setting up trusts to manage wealth distribution
• Minimizing estate taxes and probate complications

4. Protecting Your Loved Ones with Guardianship Provisions

If you have minor children, your will should designate a guardian to care for them in the event of your passing. Without this provision, the court will decide who gains custody, which may not align with your wishes. An attorney can help you choose the best guardian and structure financial support for your children’s future.

5. Reducing Probate Costs and Delays

Oklahoma’s probate process can be time-consuming and expensive. While a will does not avoid probate, an attorney can suggest strategies such as revocable living trusts or transfer-on-death deeds to streamline the process and reduce costs for your heirs.

6. Keeping Your Will Updated

Life changes—marriage, divorce, the birth of children, or financial changes—necessitate updates to your will. An attorney can review your estate plan periodically to ensure it reflects your current wishes and complies with any new laws in Oklahoma.

7. Peace of Mind

Perhaps the most important reason to consult an attorney is the peace of mind it provides. Knowing that your estate is in order and that your loved ones will be taken care of according to your wishes allows you to focus on the present without worrying about the future.

Final Thoughts

A last will and testament is more than just a legal document — it’s a critical tool to safeguard your family’s future. While it may be tempting to use an online template, the risks of errors and legal challenges outweigh the cost of professional guidance.

If you’re ready to take the next step in estate planning, consulting with a Tulsa estate planning attorney is the best way to ensure that your will is legally sound, properly executed, and aligned with your specific needs.

Need Help Drafting Your Will in Oklahoma?

Fry & Elder’s accomplished team of attorneys are here to help you through every step of the process. Contact one of our experienced Tulsa estate planning attorneys today to discuss your options and create a customized plan that provides security for your loved ones.

School bullying in Oklahoma continues to be a prevalent issue many Oklahoma secondary school students – particularly those between seventh and twelfth grades – face. 

One recent report noted a 2023 study which indicated that “Oklahoma had the ninth-highest rate of bullying. Nearly 1 in 5 students experienced bullying, which was defined as spreading rumors, using insults and committing violence.”

The attorneys of Fry & Elder empathize with those victims and their families who have experienced school bullying – be it in the form of physical bullying or cyberbullying. 

Bullying in schools is a serious issue that can have long-lasting effects on a child’s mental health, academic success, and overall well-being. In Oklahoma, schools are required to implement anti-bullying policies, but too often, these policies are not enforced effectively. If your child has been a victim of bullying and the school has failed to take proper action, hiring an attorney may be the best course of action, and our attorneys have had a history of success in Oklahoma school bullying incidents.

Below are some telltale signs as to when it would be in your family and child’s best interest to reach out to a proven and experienced Oklahoma school bullying attorney. 

Schools May Fail to Protect Victims

Despite laws requiring schools to address bullying, many institutions fail to act appropriately. Administrators may downplay incidents, ignore complaints, or blame the victim instead of holding the bully accountable. An attorney can help ensure that the school follows state laws and its own policies in protecting your child.

Holding the School Accountable

Oklahoma law mandates that public schools have policies against bullying, but enforcement varies. If a school is neglecting its duty, an attorney can file a complaint with the school district, the Oklahoma State Department of Education, or even pursue legal action to hold the school accountable for failing to provide a safe learning environment.

Protecting Your Child’s Rights

Bullying can escalate to physical violence, harassment, or even discrimination based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or disability. In such cases, legal protections may be available under federal laws such as Title IX or the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). An attorney can help determine if your child’s rights have been violated and take appropriate legal action.

Seeking Compensation for Emotional and Physical Harm

If bullying has caused your child physical injuries, emotional distress, or academic setbacks, you may be entitled to damages. A lawyer can help you seek compensation for medical bills, therapy costs, and other expenses related to the bullying incident.

Advocating for Policy Changes

Sometimes, a single legal case can lead to broader policy changes within a school district. By taking legal action, you may help create safer environments for other students and ensure that schools take bullying more seriously in the future.

When to Contact an Attorney

No child should have to endure bullying alone. Hiring an attorney can be the first step toward justice, safety, and healing.

If your child has been bullied and the school has failed to respond appropriately, it may be time to consult a school bullying attorney. Look for legal professionals in Oklahoma who focus in education law or personal injury cases related to bullying. The sooner you act, the better you can protect your child’s future.

Why Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

For nearly a century, our attorneys at Fry & Elder have successfully fought for our clients since the firm was established in 1932. 

The firm has been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List every year since 2014. Preparation and the desire to give our clients the best representation possible are the motivating factors that enable us to be better informed and prepared than other attorneys. Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an attorney well-versed in navigating the landscape of school bullying in Oklahoma.

Protective orders are on the rise in Oklahoma, sometimes putting innocent parties or those charged with a false protective order in very precarious positions. Though fighting a false protective order in Oklahoma and winning a counterclaim may seem daunting, it is entirely possible with the help of a skilled and experienced protective order defense attorney.

The 2023 Oklahoma Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board noted that 20,356 protective orders were filed in Oklahoma in 2022 – a 6.1% increase from 2021. While protective orders are necessary legal defense tools to guard victims of perpetrators, they can also be used as leverage in family law and domestic disputes. 

The Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder is experienced in helping clients successfully defend a false protective order. This post provides an applicable hypothetical step-by-step guide of how one Tulsa resident successfully fought a false protective order and won a counterclaim.    

The Hypothetical Scenario

When Michael was served with a protective order, he couldn’t believe what he was reading. The allegations of harassment and threats were completely false, and the petitioner, a former romantic partner, was using the legal system to harm his reputation and gain an advantage in a custody dispute.

Determined to clear his name, Michael embarked on a step-by-step process to fight the false protective order—and his strategic efforts led to the dismissal of the order and a successful counterclaim. Here’s how he did it.

The steps taken

Step 1: Hire an Experienced Attorney

Michael’s first move was hiring an attorney in Tulsa with experience in protective order cases. His attorney explained the seriousness of the situation and walked him through the legal process.

“Having someone who knew the law inside and out was a game-changer,” Michael later said. “They kept me focused and helped me build a strong case.”

Step 2: Review and Analyze the Allegations

Michael and his attorney carefully reviewed the petitioner’s claims, noting several inconsistencies and vague accusations. This analysis helped them identify weak points in the petitioner’s case, such as a lack of evidence and conflicting dates in their timeline.

Step 3: Gather Evidence

To build his defense, Michael compiled evidence that directly contradicted the allegations:

• Digital Communication: Text messages and emails showed no signs of harassment or threats and instead painted a picture of routine, civil interactions.
• Witness Statements: Friends and family members were able to testify that Michael had never exhibited threatening behavior.
• Surveillance Footage: Video from a local coffee shop proved that Michael was not at the location where one of the alleged incidents supposedly occurred.
• Social Media Posts: Posts from the petitioner during the time of the alleged incidents demonstrated inconsistencies in their claims.

Step 4: Establish the Petitioner’s Motive

Michael’s attorney uncovered evidence that the protective order was part of a broader strategy in a custody battle. The petitioner had previously attempted to file baseless claims against Michael in family court, which strengthened his case that the protective order was filed in bad faith.

Step 5: Comply with the Temporary Protective Order

While preparing for the hearing, Michael strictly adhered to the terms of the temporary protective order. This demonstrated to the court that he respected the legal process and took the allegations seriously, even though they were false.

Step 6: Prepare for the Hearing

Michael and his attorney practiced his testimony, ensuring he was ready to present a calm and factual defense. They also prepared their witnesses and organized evidence for easy presentation in court.

Step 7: Present the Defense in Court

At the hearing, Michael’s attorney systematically dismantled the petitioner’s case:

• They highlighted inconsistencies in the petitioner’s testimony.
• Witnesses testified on Michael’s behalf, supporting his character and refuting the allegations.
• Key evidence, including surveillance footage and communication records, directly contradicted the petitioner’s claims.

When it was time to address the counterclaim, Michael’s attorney presented evidence of the petitioner’s harassment and abuse of the legal system.

Step 8: The Judge’s Ruling

After hearing both sides, the judge dismissed the protective order against Michael, citing a lack of credible evidence. The judge also ruled in favor of Michael’s counterclaim, granting him a protective order against the petitioner and awarding him compensation for legal fees and emotional distress.

Key Takeaways from Michael’s Case

1. Hire an Attorney Early: Professional legal guidance was critical in crafting a strong defense and counterclaim.
2. Document Everything: Michael’s diligent record-keeping played a pivotal role in disproving the allegations.
3. Remain Calm and Respectful: Adhering to the temporary protective order and presenting himself professionally in court bolstered Michael’s credibility.
4. Expose Motives: Establishing the petitioner’s ulterior motives helped undermine their case.
5. Pursue Justice: Filing a counterclaim sent a clear message that false accusations have consequences.

Michael’s experience serves as a reminder that a methodical and strategic approach can overcome even the most challenging accusations such as fighting a false protective order in Oklahioma. For anyone in a similar situation, his journey offers hope and a blueprint for success.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

To many, fighting a false protective order in Oklahoma and winning a counterclaim may initially seem insurmountable, Fry & Elder has helped many clients flip the legal table and successfully defend a false protective order that was filed against them. 

For nearly 100 years, Fry & Elder has embodied Oklahoma legal excellence since opening its doors in 1932. Fry & Elder features an elite team of experienced attorneys in successful protective order defense. The firm has been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List every year since 2014. Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an experienced Tulsa protective order defense attorney.

Life happens. Sometimes, we make mistakes that leave a lasting mark on our criminal record. The good news is that for many people living in Oklahoma, there’s a legal process called expungement that can help clear those records, opening up new opportunities for employment, housing, and peace of mind. Fry & Elder’s knowledgeable team of attorneys discuss the Oklahoma expungement process and its benefits below.

This process of expunging one’s records gained even greater traction and endorsement in Oklahoma in 2022 when Governor Kevin Stitt signed into law a comprehensive process making expungement automatic for all otherwise eligible misdemeanors and a range of non-conviction records.  

As the Collateral Consequences Resources Center said, “Oklahoma thus becomes the tenth state to join the bipartisan trend toward broadening the availability of record clearing to people with convictions, without requiring them to file a petition and go to court for relief.”

What Is Expungement?

Expungement is a legal process that allows you to have certain criminal records sealed or erased. Once a record is expunged, it is no longer accessible to the public, including potential employers and landlords. However, some agencies, like law enforcement or courts, may still have access to the sealed records under specific circumstances.

A Successful Journey: John’s Expungement in Tulsa, Oklahoma

Let’s consider a hypothetical example of John, a Tulsa, Oklahoma resident, who successfully expunged his record.

John was arrested in his early twenties for a misdemeanor offense related to a minor altercation. After completing his probation, fulfilling all court-ordered obligations, and staying out of trouble for years, John found that his criminal record was still creating obstacles. He struggled to find better-paying jobs and was denied housing opportunities. That’s when he decided to pursue expungement.

Here’s how John navigated the process in Oklahoma:

1. Understanding Eligibility: John learned that under Oklahoma law, certain misdemeanors, non-violent felonies, and arrests that didn’t lead to charges could be expunged. He discovered that he met the criteria because he had fulfilled his sentence, stayed crime-free, and enough time had passed since the incident.
2. Filing the Petition: John filed a petition for expungement with the district court in Tulsa County. He paid the required filing fee and ensured all the necessary documents, including proof of completion of probation and a clean record since the offense, were included.
3. Notifying Relevant Parties: John’s attorney notified the district attorney’s office and law enforcement agencies about his petition, as required by Oklahoma law.
4. Court Hearing: At the hearing, John presented evidence of his rehabilitation, including steady employment, volunteer work, and character references from community members. His attorney highlighted how expungement would help him contribute more effectively to society.
5. The Court’s Decision: The judge granted John’s expungement request, ruling that it was in the best interest of both John and the community.

Why Seek Expungement?

Having a criminal record can be a significant barrier to moving forward in life. Here are some reasons why people seek expungement:

• Employment Opportunities: Many employers conduct background checks, and a clean record can improve your job prospects.
• Housing Access: Landlords often check criminal records, and expungement can make renting easier.
• Restoring Reputation: Clearing your record can give you a fresh start and reduce the stigma of past mistakes.

Who Qualifies for Expungement in Oklahoma?

Eligibility for expungement in Oklahoma depends on:

• The type of offense (e.g., misdemeanors, non-violent felonies, arrests without charges).
• The time elapsed since the conviction or completion of the sentence.
• Fulfillment of all court-ordered obligations (fines, restitution, probation).
• No subsequent criminal activity.

Tips for a Successful Expungement

• Be Honest: Provide accurate and complete information on your petition.
• Gather Documentation: Collect evidence of rehabilitation, such as employment records, community service, or character references.
• Follow Instructions: Ensure you adhere to all procedural requirements and deadlines.
• Seek Legal Assistance: An attorney specializing in expungement can guide you through the process and increase your chances of success.

Life After Expungement

Once your record is expunged, you can legally answer “No” when asked about a criminal history on most applications. However, be aware of exceptions, such as applying for certain government jobs or professional licenses.

Expungement isn’t just about clearing your record—it’s about reclaiming your life. If you’ve made mistakes in the past but have worked to move forward, pursuing expungement can be a powerful step toward a brighter future.

Getting a case expunged can feel daunting, but the rewards are well worth the effort. The attorneys at Fry & Elder are well-versed and can help successfully navigate you throughout the Oklahoma expungement process. By taking the initiative to clear your record, you’re investing in a future full of opportunities and second chances.If you’re considering expungement, start by understanding Oklahoma’s laws and reaching out to a qualified attorney. Click here to set up a personal consultation with an experienced Oklahoma expungement attorney.

The New Year signifies a new start for many. For some, it may involve jumping into a new career. For others, it could mean reassessing goals and priorities in life. And for others, it could mean getting out of and ending a toxic relationship by getting a divorce. 

Although coping with a divorce during the new year can feel overwhelming, it can also provide an opportunity for a fresh start. 

The attorneys of Tulsa family law firm Fry & Elder understand that going through a divorce during the new year can present challenges both financially and emotionally. Below are some strategies to help you navigate this transition and begin building a fulfilling new chapter in your life:

Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions

• Allow Yourself to Feel: Grieve the loss of your marriage and accept that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions like sadness, anger, or relief.
• Practice Patience: Healing takes time. Be kind to yourself as you work through your emotions.

Create a Support System

• Lean on Friends and Family: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.
• Professional Guidance: Consider therapy or counseling to gain perspective and coping tools.
• Support Groups: Join divorce support groups to connect with others who understand your experience.

Focus on Your Physical and Mental Health

• Exercise: Regular physical activity helps reduce stress and boost your mood.
• Healthy Eating: Nourish your body with balanced, nutritious meals.
• Mental Health Practices: Meditate, journal, or practice mindfulness to process your thoughts and emotions.

Build a New Routine

• Structure Your Days: Create a daily schedule that provides consistency and stability.
• Set Goals: Focus on personal, professional, or health-related goals to give yourself a sense of purpose.

Manage Legal and Financial Matters

• Organize Documents: Keep track of all legal and financial records related to your divorce.
• Consult Professionals: Work with attorneys or financial advisors to make informed decisions about your future.
• Create a Budget: Adjust to your new financial situation by planning for your needs and goals.

Rediscover Yourself

• Revisit Hobbies: Engage in activities you enjoy or explore new ones that excite you.
• Invest in Learning: Take a class, learn a new skill, or focus on personal growth.
• Redefine Your Identity: Use this time to reconnect with who you are outside of the marriage.

Set Boundaries with Your Ex-Spouse

• Communicate Clearly: If communication is necessary (e.g., for co-parenting), keep it respectful and focused.
• Limit Interaction: Reduce unnecessary contact to create emotional space for healing.
• Seek Mediation if Needed: Use a neutral third party to resolve conflicts amicably.

Create New Traditions

• Celebrate Differently: Start new traditions for holidays or special occasions to mark your new beginning.
• Focus on Positivity: Find joy in small, meaningful activities that make you happy.

Plan for the Future

• Set Long-Term Goals: Envision what you want your life to look like and take steps toward it.
• Focus on Growth: Use this period as an opportunity for self-improvement and transformation.

Take It One Day at a Time

• Be Present: Focus on getting through each day rather than worrying about the entire year ahead.
• Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and appreciate even the smallest achievements.

Why Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

If you or a loved one are coping with a divorce during the New Year or are in an unhealthy relationship, the attorneys of Fry & Elder are here to help navigate you through the process.

For nearly 100 years, Fry & Elder has embodied Oklahoma family law excellence since first opening its doors in 1932. The firm features an elite team of experienced attorneys more than well versed and knowledgeable in all family law issues. The firm has been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List every year since 2014.

Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and a past president of the Oklahoma Chapter and has been named to the esteemed The Best Lawyers in America® directory for 15 consecutive years

Firm attorneys Simon Harwood, James Morton, Preston Bennett, Zach Mortazavi, Brian Jackson, and Grayson Glover are also well-versed in navigating the challenges of dealing with a divorce in the new year.

Divorce is a significant life change, but it also offers the chance for renewal and growth opportunities. By focusing on self-care, setting boundaries, and embracing new opportunities, you can build a life that feels authentic and fulfilling in the new year. 

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an experienced Tulsa family law attorney.

The holiday season is a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. Families and friends gather to exchange gifts, share meals, and create lasting memories. However, this festive spirit often comes with a dark side: the increased prevalence of drinking and driving during the holiday season. And no other holiday in the calendar year is drinking more associated with than New Year’s Eve.

Tulsa law enforcement agencies are aware of increased drinking and driving during the holiday season and will be running DUI checkpoints in parts of Tulsa County on New Year’s Eve. 

The Tulsa World reported that There were 149 collisions during the 2020 New Year’s Eve holiday period, the OHP reported, adding that two of them were fatal and 27 were alcohol or drug-related. 

Why Increased Drinking and Driving During the Holiday Season?

The festive atmosphere, combined with time off work and an abundance of parties, creates an environment where overindulgence is common. Many people underestimate the effects of alcohol, believing they can “handle it” or that they’re “just going a short distance.” Unfortunately, even small amounts of alcohol impair judgment, reaction time, and motor skills — a dangerous trio when behind the wheel.

A Deadly Combination  

Statistics show that the holiday season sees a sharp rise in alcohol-related accidents. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), nearly one-third of all traffic deaths in the United States involve drunk drivers. During the holidays, this number spikes, with celebratory gatherings often featuring alcoholic beverages.

The agency also reported on its website that 1,062 people died in drunk driving crashes in 2022 – the most recent data year available and the highest number of fatalities since 2007.

The consequences of driving under the influence (DUI) are devastating. Beyond the potential loss of life, DUIs can result in severe injuries, legal repercussions, and emotional trauma for victims and their families. For the driver, the aftermath includes fines, jail time, loss of driving privileges, and a tarnished reputation.

Protecting Yourself and Others

1. Plan Ahead: If you plan to drink, arrange for a designated driver, use a rideshare service, or stay overnight at your celebration location.
2. Host Responsibly: If you’re hosting a gathering, provide non-alcoholic beverage options and encourage guests to make safe transportation plans.
3. Be Vigilant: If you notice someone attempting to drive after drinking, intervene. Offer to call them a cab or find another way to get them home safely.
4. Stay Alert on the Road: Be cautious of other drivers, especially during peak holiday times. Impaired drivers are often on the roads late at night or after big events.

The Cost of Negligence

Drunk driving is not just a personal mistake; it’s a community hazard. One moment of poor judgment can shatter countless lives. The financial toll of DUIs is also significant, with costs ranging from legal fees to medical bills and property damage. However, these numbers pale in comparison to the emotional and psychological scars left behind.

A Season for Safety

The holidays are meant to be a time of celebration, not tragedy. By making responsible choices and encouraging others to do the same, we can ensure that the season remains joyful for everyone. Let’s prioritize safety, cherish our loved ones, and commit to keeping our roads free from impaired drivers. Fry & Elder wants all Oklahoma drivers to give the gift of safety this holiday season: don’t drink and drive

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and togetherness, but for many families, navigating holiday season child custody arrangements can bring stress and conflict. The Tulsa family law attorneys of Fry & Elder recognize this and have put together the following real-life hypothetical child custody scenario involving Lisa and Tom who share custody of their 10-year-old daughter, Mia. Despite having a court-ordered agreement in place, the holidays have become a battleground for disputes.

Here’s how Lisa and Tom’s challenges unfolded — and how they could have handled things differently.

The Problem

Lisa and Tom’s custody agreement stipulates that they alternate Christmas and Thanksgiving each year. However, this year, Lisa’s family planned a big Christmas trip to a cabin in Colorado, which falls on Tom’s designated holiday. Lisa asked Tom to switch days, but he refused, citing his family’s traditions.

As tensions tensions escalated, communication broke down. Tom insisted on sticking to the child custody agreement, while Lisa accused him of not being flexible. Meanwhile Mia, caught in the middle, felt the strain as her parents argued over her holiday plans.

The Impact on Mia

Mia, who loves spending time with both sides of her family, began dreading the holidays.

• She felt guilty for wanting to join her mother Lisa’s trip to Colorado but didn’t want to disappoint her father Tom who would be staying in Tulsa for Christmas..
• The constant bickering made her anxious, dampening her excitement for the season.

The holidays, instead of being a time of joy, became a source of stress for Mia – stress a 10-year old should not have to endure during the holiday season.

What Went Wrong?

Several issues contributed to the breakdown:

1. Rigid Thinking: Both Lisa and Tom prioritized their desires over their daughter Mia’s experience during the holiday season.\.
2. Lack of Communication: They didn’t discuss holiday plans until the last minute, leaving no room for compromise.

Both of these above issues, along with past discontent toward one another, failed to prioritize Mia’s needs. The focus, instead, shifted from Mia’s happiness to a power struggle over holiday season child custody agreements.

A Better Approach

The family law attorneys of Fry & Elder believe that both Lisa and Tom could have handled their holiday season child custody agreements during the holiday season better and more effectively.

1. Plan Ahead

If Lisa had brought up the trip earlier, Tom might have been more open to discussing a schedule change. Advance planning allows both parents to adjust expectations and logistics.

2. Mediate Disputes

Instead of escalating the conflict, they could have sought help from a neutral mediator. A mediator or knowledgeable Tulsa family law attorney could guide the discussion, ensuring Mia’s needs stayed at the center.

3. Compromise for the Child’s Benefit

Compromise doesn’t mean losing — it means finding a solution that benefits everyone, particularly during holiday season child custody arrangements. For example:

• Tom could have agreed to let Mia join the cabin trip, provided he got additional time during New Year’s.
• Lisa could have adjusted her trip dates to align with the custody schedule.

4. Communicate Directly and Respectfully

Using co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard or Talking Parents could have facilitated clear, documented communication, reducing misunderstandings and emotional outbursts.

5. Focus on Quality Over Quantity

Both parents could remember that holiday magic isn’t tied to a specific date. If Mia celebrated “Christmas” with her father Tom later in December, the love and joy would be just as meaningful.

How Things Turned Around

Eventually, Lisa and Tom realized the toll their conflict was taking on Mia. With help from a family counselor, they renegotiated their holiday plans. This year, Mia would spend Christmas in Colorado with her mother Lisa and return to Tulsa later in the week to celebrate Christmas and New Year’s with her father Tom.

To make up for the lost time, Lisa offered Tom an extra weekend in January. They also agreed to meet every September to review and adjust holiday plans for the coming year.

Mia, seeing her parents working together, felt relieved and excited to enjoy the holidays with both families.

While not all holiday season child custody agreements can work out as well as Lisa and Tom’s initial disagreement, the Tulsa family law attorneys of Fry & Elder encourage you to always keep the best interests of your child in mind

The holiday season, often associated with joy, family, and togetherness, can feel daunting when navigating the emotional and logistical challenges of a divorce during the holiday season. 

The Tulsa family law firm attorneys of Fry & Elder understand the challenges a divorce during the holiday season can pose, but it can also be an opportunity to rediscover yourself and redefine what this season means. With some intention and self-compassion, you can turn this season into an opportunity for growth and renewal. 

Remember, healing takes time — and this season is just one chapter in your story. Below are some strategies to help you or a loved one maneuver through the potential obstacles of a holiday divorce.

Embrace Your Emotions

Divorce is a significant life transition, and it’s normal to feel a range of emotions—grief, anger, loneliness, or even relief. Instead of pushing those feelings aside, acknowledge them. Journaling, meditating, or confiding in a trusted friend can help you process your emotions and find clarity. Remember, it’s okay not to feel “holly jolly” all the time.

Redefine Your Traditions

The holidays may look different now, and that’s okay. Instead of dwelling on what’s lost, focus on creating new traditions. This could mean hosting a small gathering with friends, volunteering at a local charity, or starting a new activity like baking, hiking, or crafting. Redefining the season can help you take ownership of your happiness.

Put Children First (If You Have Them)

If you share children with your ex-partner, prioritize their well-being. Keep communication respectful and work together to create a holiday schedule that allows the kids to enjoy time with both parents. Reassure them that the holidays can still be special, even if they look different. Engage them in holiday planning to give them a sense of stability and excitement.

Practice Self-Care

Amid the hustle of the season, take time to care for yourself. This could be as simple as taking a long walk, indulging in a favorite book, or spending time on a hobby. If the holiday blues hit hard, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or join a support group to navigate the emotional terrain.

Manage Expectations

The holidays can feel heavy with societal and personal expectations. Give yourself permission to simplify. If decorating, shopping, or socializing feels overwhelming, scale back. Focus on what feels meaningful to you rather than what you think you “should” be doing.

Surround Yourself with Support

Lean on your support network of friends, family, or community groups. Spending time with loved ones who uplift and understand you can make the season less lonely. If your usual circle is unavailable, consider connecting with others through events, meetups, or volunteer opportunities.

Find Gratitude Amid Change

It might be challenging to focus on the positive during such a transformative time, but practicing gratitude can shift your perspective. Reflect on the aspects of your life you’re thankful for, whether it’s your health, a supportive friend, or even the freedom to build a new future.

Give Back

Volunteering is a powerful way to find purpose and perspective during difficult times. Helping others, whether by donating gifts, serving meals, or participating in community events, can remind you of the good in the world and bring a sense of fulfillment.

Look Ahead

While the holidays can magnify the pain of divorce, they’re also a temporary season. Use this time to reflect on what you want for your future. Set goals for the new year and focus on small, achievable steps to move toward healing and growth.

Whether it’s your first-holiday post-divorce or you’re still adjusting to the changes, this time of year can be overwhelming. However, with some intention and self-compassion, you can turn this season into an opportunity for growth and renewal.

Divorce during the holidays is undoubtedly challenging, but it can also be an opportunity to rediscover yourself and redefine what this season means to you. By prioritizing your well-being, embracing change, and focusing on what truly matters, you can create a holiday experience filled with resilience and hope. Remember, healing takes time—and this season is just one chapter in your story.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

When it comes to family law in Tulsa and Oklahoma, it is hard for any firm to match Fry & Elder’s history and accomplishments in divorce, child custody, and child support issues that might surface.

For nearly 100 years, Fry & Elder has embodied Oklahoma family law excellence since first opening its doors in 1932. The firm features an elite team of experienced attorneys more than well versed and knowledgeable in all family law issues. The firm has been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List every year since 2014.

Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and a past president of the Oklahoma Chapter and has been named to the esteemed The Best Lawyers in America® directory for 15 consecutive years

Firm attorneys Simon Harwood, James Morton, Preston Bennett, Zach Mortazavi, Brian Jackson, Grayson Glover are also well versed in how to navigate the challenges of a divorce during the holiday season.

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an experienced Tulsa family law attorney.

Fry & Elder continues to make a strong case as to why it is among the top Oklahoma Law Firms.

The Tulsa-based law firm has had unrivaled longevity since first opening its doors in 1932. Over 90 years later, the firm’s legacy continues to grow both locally and nationally.

Best Law Firms^® unveiled the 15^th edition of its annual Best Law Firms^® directory and the 2025 edition included a very familiar name in the Oklahoma legal industry – Fry & Elder.

The prestigious Oklahoma law firm has now been included in the Best Law Firms^® directory every year since 2014.

“It’s an incredible honor,” Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. said. “I think most people within the legal profession recognize Best Law Firms^® as one of, if not the most credible legal publication in our industry.  

“But to be closing in on our 100^th year of operation really is beyond my wildest dreams. I certainly never envisioned it when C. Lawrence Elder gave me a job in 1969. I think a few big reasons why we’re still going strong and on the doorstep of reaching 100 years has been due to our constant passion and commitment in helping our clients resolve what quite often are some very challenging situations. I think our staff has also meshed really well together over the years. We are very supportive of one another here.”

As Fry alluded to, Best Law Firms® is considered by many to be the oldest and most respected legal publication. Much of that has to do with its comprehensive peer-reviewed selection process that “relies on qualitative and quantitative data, legal skillset, achievements, and client successes collected through a submission process managed by Best Lawyers®.”

Best Lawyers® CEO Phillip Greer said in a statement that “Best Law Firms rankings celebrate firms that have consistently demonstrated excellence in legal expertise and industry knowledge. Each firm included has been rigorously evaluated based on client feedback, peer recommendations, leadership interviews, and the depth of their practice. The result is a comprehensive guide for businesses and individuals seeking top-tier legal counsel in the United States.”

To be considered among the top Oklahoma Law Firms much less a national firm is no easy task. To be eligible for inclusion a firm must have at least one attorney who has been recognized in The Best Lawyers in America©.

Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. more than fits the bill. He was selected for a 15^th consecutive year to Best Lawyers® earlier this year. The honor Fry received only goes to the “top 5% of private practicing lawyers in the United States.”

Fry Jr. has racked up several other accolades and honors during a sparkling career. He was named Best Lawyers® Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in 2016. He is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and a past president of the Oklahoma Chapter.

Fry Jr. also has been named to SuperLawyers® multiple times and also carries an AV Preeminent rating by Martindale-Hubble, which is the highest recognition possible in the legal industry for professionalism and ethics.

Additionally, Fry Jr. was selected as The Outstanding Young Lawyer for Tulsa County in 1971. Fry also served as the Chairman of the Family Law Section for Tulsa County for nine years.

“He has had a remarkable career,” Fry & Elder managing partner Simon Harwood said. “He’s a big reason why we continue to be recognized on a national stage, but we have a lot of up-and-coming attorneys who will only continue to add to the legacy.”

Fry Jr. agrees, saying the firm’s trajectory is only trending up.

“It’s a different era,” Fry Jr. said. “Like so many industries today, the legal profession is going through a transformation led by rising technology and so many other demands. I marvel at what our younger attorneys can do and the efficiency with which they are able to work. They really are impressive.”

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an attorney from one of the top Oklahoma Law Firms.  

Although the Tulsa area has experienced some record highs in temperature this October, November is right around the corner. Whether we continue to experience warmer weather patterns or not, Thanksgiving and the holiday season will be here before you know it.

The holidays can be a magical time filled with joy, tradition, and family gatherings. However, they can also bring stress — especially for couples. Between planning, budgeting, and managing extended family dynamics, it’s easy for tensions to rise.

The Fry & Elder legal team wants to highlight practical tips for couples to manage marriage and holiday stress with the hope of keeping their relationship strong during the festive season.

Communicate Openly About Expectations

One of the biggest sources of holiday stress is miscommunication. Maybe one partner expects a large family gathering while the other prefers a quiet, intimate celebration. It’s important to discuss your holiday expectations early on to avoid misunderstandings later. Try these tips:

• Be honest about what you want: If you prefer a low-key holiday, express that. Don’t assume your partner knows how you feel.
• Compromise: Holidays often involve merging traditions. If your preferences differ, find a middle ground. Alternate years between big family events and quieter ones or split your time.

Set Boundaries With Family

Family expectations can add another layer of pressure. Whether it’s juggling in-laws, dealing with family drama, or feeling obligated to attend every gathering, it’s important to set boundaries as a couple. After all, the goal is to manage marriage and holiday stress.

• Say no when necessary: You don’t have to attend every holiday party or event. Prioritize your well-being and make space for your own traditions.
• Stand united as a couple: If extended family makes demands, stand together in your decisions. If one side of the family pushes too hard, show a united front, which strengthens your bond.

Plan (and Stick to) a Budget

Money is a common source of stress during the holidays. Gifts, travel, and parties can add up quickly. To avoid financial strain, sit down with your partner and plan a holiday budget.

• Create a budget: Include gifts, travel, food, and any other holiday-related expenses.
• Discuss priorities: What’s most important to both of you? Is it gift-giving, hosting a gathering, or traveling to see family? Prioritize spending accordingly.
• Stick to the plan: It’s easy to get swept up in holiday sales and overspend. Stick to your agreed-upon budget to avoid post-holiday financial stress.

Divide and Conquer Responsibilities

Holidays often come with a long list of to-dos, from shopping to cooking to decorating. If one person feels overwhelmed by handling it all, stress is inevitable.

• Delegate tasks: Make a list of everything that needs to be done and divide tasks based on your strengths or preferences. If one partner loves cooking, let them take charge of holiday meals, while the other handles gift shopping.
• Ask for help: Don’t hesitate to ask family members to pitch in if you’re hosting a gathering. You don’t have to do everything yourself!

Practice Self-Care Together

During the holiday hustle, self-care can fall by the wayside, leading to burnout. Make time for relaxation and connection, both individually and as a couple.

• Schedule downtime: Plan for downtime where you can unwind together—whether that’s watching a favorite holiday movie, taking a walk, or just sitting by the fire with some hot cocoa.
• Stay active: Exercise is a great stress reliever. Consider doing activities together, like taking a winter hike or signing up for a fun holiday run.
• Prioritize sleep and nutrition: Late nights and heavy holiday meals can take a toll on your health and energy. Make sleep and healthy eating a priority so you both feel your best.

Keep Perspective

Holidays can heighten emotions, but remember that it’s just one season. If things don’t go perfectly, it’s not the end of the world. Focus on what truly matters—your relationship and time together.

• Let go of perfection: Things might not go according to plan, and that’s okay. Embrace imperfections and find joy in the moment.
• Focus on gratitude: The holidays are a time to reflect on the positives in your life. Expressing gratitude for each other can help keep stress in check and deepen your bond.

Seek Support if Needed

If holiday stress becomes too much, don’t hesitate to seek outside help. Talking to a therapist, counselor, or in some cases an attorney can provide valuable insights and strategies for managing stress as a couple.

The holidays can be challenging, but with a bit of planning, communication, and self-care, you and your partner can enjoy the season while strengthening your relationship. Focus on what matters most—each other—and the rest will fall into place.