Divorce is tough. Going through one with a narcissist makes it all the more difficult. While the Tulsa divorce law firm of Fry & Elder hopes that everyone going through a divorce has an amicable separation, the reality is that sometimes that is not possible – particularly if your ex suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder. The problem is that much more compounded if you are going through a custody battle. Because many people are not in tune with the personality disorders of a narcissist, the Oklahoma divorce attorneys of Fry & Elder want to share a few tips for you if you are going through a separation with a narcissist.
Prepare Yourself and Take the High Road
The nature of a narcissist is to be deviant and manipulative. Like a flash in the pan, this can carry a lot of weight initially. Chances are he or she will run a smear campaign against you and try and turn your friends and even family members against you.
While these tactics might work early on, people, particularly those close to you, will wise up and see the true colors of a narcissist. As difficult as it might be early on, Fry & Elder’s team of divorce attorneys urge you to think a few steps ahead and take the high road. A narcissist’s true colors will eventually show – it is inevitable.
Get Dialed In
You’re not going to change a narcissist’s personality, so you need to document it. Our firm suggests that you keep an ongoing journal of your ex’s erratic and deceiving behavior. You also should try and limit communication with your ex. This might be difficult, especially if you are battling over custody, but Fry & Elder recommends that you keep a file of any correspondence that you do have with he or she. Sticking to email would be the best course of action, but if there is texting involved, you should keep a record of them. Title and document as much as you can such as “Failure to Allow Visitation on 10/31/15,” and try and keep phone conversations to a minimum.
Consult with a Talented Team of Oklahoma Divorce Attorneys
The Oklahoma divorce attorneys of Fry & Elder are not just some of the most decorated not just in the state, but in the country. Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. was selected as the Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 by the leading legal publication Best Lawyers®. Fry also has been listed by Best Lawyers® as an Oklahoma Super Lawyer every year since 2007.
Fry & Elder attorneys M. Shane Henry, James R. Elder and Aaron D. Bundy, along with Fry, have all garnered the coveted AV® Preeminent Peer Review Rating by Martindale-Hubbell®, which is a testament to the fact that a lawyer’s peers rank him or her at the highest level of professional excellence. Henry, Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux also have been selected as Super Lawyers® Rising Stars™.
These five attorneys, along with Lorena Rivas, Katie Egan and Melissa Fell have helped distinguish Fry & Elder as one of the premier family law firms in the United States. Fry & Elder has been named as one of the nation’s Best Law Firms from 2014-2016 by the esteemed publication U.S. News & World Report. If you are going through a high conflict Tulsa divorce or child custody case, contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with one of our talented team of Oklahoma divorce attorneys.
Lillian Schaeffer says
These are some great tips, and I appreciate your advice to keep a journal of your ex’s poor behavior during a divorce. I started the divorce process recently, and my ex has been intentionally as difficult as he can be. I’ll definitely try to write down what he does so it’s documented somewhere. Thanks for the great post!
Brooke McAvoy says
Limiting communication is a really good idea when you’re in this situation. For me, there are certain people that simply frustrate me to a point where I don’t have a lot of control over myself. If you can figure out how to take a step back and cool off, you will be able to make all of the important decisions that come along with divorce with a clear head. Thank you for all of the helpful information!