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James R. Elder Presents on the Importance of Prenuptial Agreements

Prenuptial agreements

When the renown and acclaimed Tulsa law firm of Fry & Elder moved into the Robert G Fry Jr. Center for Trial Studies in the fall of 2015 much of the reason for the move was because the firm had simply outgrown its previous downtown Tulsa offices. Another significant contributing factor, however, in why the firm relocated to their current state of the art 5,200-square foot facility, which features 13 offices and two conference rooms, was because the office would give the firm enhanced space for conferences and Continuing Legal Education (CLE opportunities).

Fry & Elder trial lawyers have made good use of the facility, and partner James R. Elder was the latest to do so. Elder helped usher in the New Year by holding the first CLE presentation of 2017 at the Robert G Fry Jr. Center for Trial Studies earlier this week.

His presentation, titled “Protecting Assets: Primer on Prenuptial Agreements,” centered on what has long been a touchy yet often necessary family law service in Oklahoma and other parts of the country.

James R. Elder

“Prenuptial Agreements are becoming more prevalent as people learn they can govern much of the result in a Dissolution case,” Elder said. “It also serves to shorten the proceedings since many otherwise disputed issues are eliminated from the litigation.”

The entire Fry & Elder staff of attorneys and other personnel attended Tuesday’s presentation.

“Mr. Elder did an amazing job with his presentation to the F&E team on the importance of prenuptial agreements,” fellow Fry & Elder partner M. Shane Henry said. “This is yet another example of how F&E is dedicated to improving each day so that we can achieve the very best results for our clients.”

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Elder has been with Fry & Elder for over 25 years and has garnered the esteemed AV Preeminent rating by Martindale-Hubble. His father C. Lawrence Elder set the wheels in motion for what Fry & Elder has become today – an acclaimed law firm – back in 1932 when he began practicing law in Oklahoma.

Today, Fry & Elder’s team of attorneys include four AV-rated attorneys, four who have been recognized by Super Lawyers®, the Best Lawyers® Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016  and the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section. Collectively, Fry & Elder’s team of nine attorneys have helped the firm make the prestigious U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms list each of the past four years. Contact Fry & Elder today to speak to an experienced and accomplished Oklahoma trial lawyer.

Dealing With The Holidays And Divorce (Part Five)

Tulsa divorce and child custody law firm

Divorce doesn’t always have to be difficult. In fact, divorce can often give someone a new lease on life. Above all, consider a pending or recent divorce as a chance to begin a new journey, and there is no better time to kick off that journey than at the beginning of a New Year. So, as you say goodbye to 2016 and usher in 2017, the Tulsa divorce and child custody law firm of Fry & Elder encourages you to be optimistic about what the future holds and wishes to offer you a few tips on how to get 2017 off on the right foot.

Establish Some Goals Early

They are not called New Year’s resolutions for nothing. But if you are going through or have been recently divorced, it is all the more important for you to set some worthwhile and attainable goals for 2017 because with goal-setting comes confidence and empowerment.

These goals might range from saving a certain amount of money over the next six months to trying out a hobby to traveling somewhere you have never been. Your goals can of course change over the course of the year and likely will, but it is important that you have some in place entering the New Year that you would like to fulfill.

Give Yourself Some Space and Alone Time

You have just gotten yourself out of a trying and committed relationship. One of the most important things you can do for your self-preservation is to re-learn how to be alone. That is not to say avoid activity and contact with others, but allowing yourself some alone time will help you develop your new identity moving forward.

Don’t be Afraid to Mourn but Bid Bitterness Farewell

There is a fine line between sadness and anger. While it’s OK to have both at times, it’s important for you to try and move on from the relationship. No one enters a marriage with the idea of getting a divorce so it’s perfectly understandable to be sad over the relationship ending. It’s also understandable that that you will have some anger toward your ex. The important thing is that you don’t over indulge yourself with either emotion. The quicker you can bid bitterness farewell, the quicker you can move on with your new lease on life.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

If the divorce or separation is a little more difficult than you expected don’t be afraid to ask for help. This could come in the form of reaching out to a family member or friend. It could also mean contacting a proven and established Tulsa divorce and child custody law firm.

Over the years, Fry & Elder has proven itself to be such a firm. The U.S. News & World Report has named Fry & Elder to its Best Law Firms list each of the past four years. Collectively, Fry & Elder has a talented staff of attorneys that include the Best Lawyers® Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016  and the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section. The firm also boasts four attorneys who have garnered Super Lawyers® accolades and four who are AV-rated attorneys. Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a consultation with a proven trial lawyer from an acclaimed Tulsa divorce and child custody law firm.

Bernhardt Legal Counsel in High-Profile Murder Trial

Tulsa high-profile murder trial

Fry & Elder attorney Kirsten Bernhardt has been part of the legal counsel for a high-profile murder trial that has generated publicity within the Tulsa community.

Bernhardt is a member of the legal defense team for Cedric Poore, who has been charged with the Jan. 7, 2013 shooting deaths of Rebeika Powell, Kayetie Powell Melchos and Misty Nunley. Bernhardt was quoted in a recent Tulsa World article about the case which was published earlier this month.

That Bernhardt is a central legal-figure in a murder case provides yet another shining example of the depth in which the Tulsa law firm of Fry & Elder has expanded its range of services within the past couple of years.

While Fry & Elder will always be known as a leading and acclaimed Tulsa family law firm, it is gaining recognition and accolades in the legal realms of immigration law, criminal defense and personal injury law among other areas.

“We’re always going to do divorce, child custody and other family law cases,” Fry & Elder partner M. Shane Henry said. “But we’re continuing to grow and expand as a firm. Kirsten’s criminal defense work on this current high-profile murder trial is another illustration of our growth, and she’s doing a great job on it.”

Much of Bernhardt’s preparation for her current high-profile trial involved collaborating with other Fry & Elder trial lawyers and personnel on jury selection topics and ideas to further emphasize the teamwork the Tulsa law firm embodies.

High-profile murder trial

Bernhardt is no stranger to high-profile cases. Before joining Fry & Elder in 2016, Bernhardt had won a judgement in excess of $10 million from Coca-Cola and has proven to be a successful practitioner in both jury and bench trials. She left a successful self-practice to join Fry & Elder, saying it was the only firm she considered leaving her self-practice to join.

“This is the only firm I would have done that for,” Kirsten said. “They’re growing, and they’re just doing some incredible things. They really stand out from the rest of the firms in town.”

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Whether you are in need of vigorous criminal defense or legal representation in immigration law or family law, Fry & Elder has proven itself to be a dynamic Oklahoma law firm. The firm has been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms list each of the past four years, and features a talented staff of attorneys that include the Best Lawyers® Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016  and the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section. The firm also boasts four attorneys who have garnered Super Lawyers® accolades and four who are AV-rated attorneys. Contact Fry & Elder today and experience the difference.

Dealing With The Holidays and Divorce (Part Four)

Managing the holidays without children

For those recently divorced or separated parents out there who will be without their children for the first time during a portion or all of the holidays this season, this could be an ideal time for you to recharge your batteries and gain proper perspective on life and what you would like to accomplish for the New Year.

That is not to say that being without your children on Christmas Eve or Christmas won’t be difficult, but if you go into the holidays with an open mind and positive attitude, the time off could make you an even better parent and more cheerful person moving forward. Below are a few tips the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder has put together for divorced or separated parents going through the holidays without their children.

Plan Your Holiday Celebration on a Different Day

Not many children are going to have a problem with receiving Christmas presents on two separate days. If you have the children up until Christmas Eve, plan to have a dinner, gift exchange and some other family activity on one of the days leading up to Christmas Eve. If you are not going to see your children until after Christmas do the same thing. Either way, your children and you will have a fun and memorable time.

Skype of FaceTime on Christmas Day

Even if you cannot be physically present with your children on Christmas Day, technology has made it where you can come pretty close. Try and set up time with your ex when it would be appropriate for you to Skype or FaceTime in and say hello. They obviously will have a lot to talk about and will want to hear from you on Christmas day.

Get out and do Something Different

That’s right. Take advantage of the year off and treat yourself. This might mean going on a quick a getaway trip – chances are you will meet some people in the same spot as you – or it might mean reacquainting yourself with family members you have not seen or spent the holidays with in a long time. Either way, the important thing for you to do is to be active and do something.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Whether you are going through a tightly-contested divorce or child custody issue this holiday season, the Tulsa divorce and child custody attorneys at Fry & Elder have the experience and background to assist you with your legal needs. Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr., is one of only 19 attorneys in the state to be a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and was also named by Best Lawyers® as the Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 . Fellow Fry & Elder trial lawyer and partner M. Shane Henry was named the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section, while Aaron D. Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux, along with Fry and Henry also garnered Super Lawyers® accolades earlier this fall.

The firm’s James R. Elder, Fry, Henry and Bundy are all AV-rated attorneys, while Kirsten Bernhardt has been successful in trying both criminal and family law cases. Bernhardt’s work on a current Tulsa murder trial has been well documented.

Additionally, the firm’s Lorena Rivas has drawn praise for her work in immigration law and Katie Egan and Melissa Fell round out a talented staff of acclaimed attorneys that have helped Fry & Elder be named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms list each of the past four years. Contact Fry & Elder today.

Dealing With The Holidays And Divorce (Part Three)

Put the children first

Oklahoma divorce lawyer Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. with his grandson Clarke and loyal companion Badger.

For children, the holiday season is often the most anticipated time of the year. Memories are made and gifts are unwrapped. For many parents who have recently gone through a divorce or are in the process of going through a divorce, the holiday season is likely met with a little less excitement. Scheduling and the holidays themselves can lead to stress, discomfort and sadness. The Oklahoma divorce lawyers of Fry & Elder believe that one proven and effective way to reduce this stress is to shift the focus off yourself and put the children first this holiday season. Below are some tips for how this can best be achieved.

Make time for your children

If this is the first holiday season you will experience with your children separated from your ex, it is important that you carve out some additional free time to spend together. This might mean trying to get a little time off from work or leaving work a little earlier on some days. It is a new experience for your children and you so spending quality time and doing things together will help them and you better cope with the changes. The most important thing you can do this holiday season for your children is to strengthen your relationships with them and reinforce that things happen and life goes on.

Embrace the past and inject the new

Just because the family dynamics has changed does not mean you need to let go of old traditions. If cooking a certain dinner on Christmas Eve and watching a certain movie or going on a drive to check out Christmas lights is something you have enjoyed and look forward to doing together then keep those traditions intact. That said, this holiday season also might be a great time to incorporate some new traditions into the mix. That might mean volunteering at a shelter together or going on some sort of quick getaway trip. The important thing is that you’re trying out new things together.

Be considerate of your children’s feelings

Simply put: Take the high road. While you may have some negative feelings about your ex, it is important that you keep them in check. You are not doing your children any favors by putting down or making negative statements about your ex, particularly in front of them. If you really want to show your children a shining example of taking the high road and putting others first, consider going the extra mile and helping them out with gifts for them to give your ex and other family members (i.e. ex in-laws).

Experience the Fry & Elder difference

For nearly 50 years, the Oklahoma divorce lawyers at Fry & Elder have been highly regarded in their ability to handle family law dynamics. Much of this stems from their philosophy of putting the best interests of the children first not just during the holidays but throughout the entire year.

For their efforts, The U.S. News & World Report has named Fry & Elder to its Best Law Firms list each of the past four years. Individually, Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. was named Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 by Best Lawyers® and he is one of just 19 attorneys in the state of Oklahoma to be named a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Fellow Fry & Elder partner M. Shane Henry was named the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section, while Aaron D. Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux, along with Fry and Henry also garnered Super Lawyers® accolades earlier this fall. If you are dealing with a divorce or child custody issue this holiday season, contact Fry & Elder today and consult with a team of talented attorneys.

Dealing With The Holidays And Divorce (Part Two)

Divorcing a narcissist

Divorcing a narcissist is always difficult. It is even more difficult during the holidays. Merriam-Webster defines narcissistic personality disorder as being “characterized especially by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, persistent need for admiration, lack of empathy for others, excessive pride in achievements, and snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitude.”

While narcissistic behavior isn’t easy to deal with at any time of the year, it is particularly trying during the holiday season when a narcissist’s traits are even more intensified, bringing with them a greater appetite for attention, control and confrontation. If you are dealing with or are divorcing a narcissist this holiday season, the Tulsa divorce law firm of Fry & Elder empathizes with you and wishes to offer a few tips on how to better navigate through the holidays while separating from or divorcing a narcissist.

Keep Your Cool

As hard as this might be to do, it is imperative, particularly if you are going through a contested divorce or child custody battle, to not fight back with a narcissist. This doesn’t necessarily mean lying down, but it does mean letting things go and not showing vulnerability, which is what narcissists often feed off.

Take Gestures of Kindness and Compassion with a Grain of Salt

If your ex is showing concern for you this holiday season, odds are those gestures are nothing more than manipulative tactics he or she is trying to engage you in. While it may seem like an act of kindness, remember that a narcissist really only truly cares about himself or herself.

Communicate Only When Required

This might seem extreme, especially if you have children, but you will be better off in the long run if you limit lines of communication when at all possible with a narcissist. Co-parenting with a narcissist is at best futile and at worst a disaster. Establish firm but clear boundaries and remember that maintaining them is in the child’s best interests.

Know that a Proven Tulsa Divorce Law Firm is Just a Phone Call Away

For nearly 50 years, the name Fry & Elder has been recognized with elite Tulsa divorce and child custody representation. That reputation has helped the Fry & Elder achieve national recognition as evidenced by the firm making the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms list each of the past four years.

Fry & Elder attorneys Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. and M. Shane Henry are experienced and skilled in handling divorce and child custody cases involving a narcissist. Fry named Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 by Best Lawyers®, while Henry was recognized as the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section. Fry is also one of just of just 19 Oklahoma attorneys to be a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Fry and Henry, along with Aaron D. Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux all garnered Super Lawyers® accolades. Firm attorneys Lorena Rivas and Kirsten Bernhardt are skilled immigration law and guardianship attorneys, respectively, while James R. Elder, Katie Egan and Melissa Fell round out a talented team of attorneys. Contact Fry & Elder today.

Fry & Elder Immigration Law Attorney Rivas Shines at Event

Immigration Law Attorney Lorena Rivas

Less than five years removed from law school, Oklahoma immigration law attorney Lorena Rivas is already considered by many to be an authority figure on immigration law.

Earlier this month the Fry & Elder attorney demonstrated her thorough knowledge and understanding of the complexities of immigration law when Rivas presented at a CLE event hosted by the Tulsa County Bar Association. Her presentation, titled “Immigration Law for the General Practitioner,” was well attended and touched on a number of Oklahoma immigration law issues including trial techniques in immigration cases.

“It was good to educate attorneys on the obscure area of immigration law quickly after the recent presidential election where immigration was such a hot topic,” Rivas said.  “Immigration law is a very complex area of the law that now is reaching more and more the regular practitioner.  It was really nice to see a good size crowd, in which the grand majority were not immigration practitioners.”

Immigration law attorney

A Proven and Reliable Immigration Law Attorney

Rivas is a member of the American Immigration Lawyers Association and focuses most of her practice at Fry & Elder on immigration law issues that include the following:

In addition to being a prominent immigration law attorney, Rivas stays active in the Tulsa community. She is the coach of local high school mock trial team and has also written articles for the Hispanic publication La Semana del Sur. It is because of these efforts and prowess as an Oklahoma immigration law attorney that Rivas was recognized by the Tulsa Business & Legal News for its annual Women of Distinction Awards earlier this year.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Fry & Elder’s team of decorated attorneys has helped the Oklahoma law firm achieve national prominence. The U.S. News & World Report has named Fry & Elder to its exclusive Best Law Firms list each of the past four years. Tulsa divorce lawyer Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. was named Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 by Best Lawyers® and he is one of just 19 attorneys in the state of Oklahoma to be named a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Fellow Fry & Elder partner M. Shane Henry was named the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section, while Aaron D. Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux, along with Fry and Henry also garnered Super Lawyers® accolades earlier this fall. Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a consultation with an elite Oklahoma trial lawyer.

Oklahoma Trial Lawyers Bundy and Henry Published in OBJ

Oklahoma trial lawyers

If Oklahoma trial lawyers Aaron D. Bundy and M. Shane Henry ever wanted to embark on a new career, the two Fry & Elder attorneys could dapper into the world of writing and publishing. After all, Bundy and Henry have now had their written work published an eye-popping five times this year. Their latest installation – Nos. 4 and 5 – are featured in this month’s edition of The Oklahoma Bar Journal, which is the official member publication of the Oklahoma Bar Association.

With the publication’s theme this month as “Trial by Jury,” it made sense that the acclaimed and experienced Oklahoma trial lawyers weighed in on the matter.

Oklahoma trial lawyers

“Slaying the Speaking Objection Dragon” provides insight into why speaking objections are unprofessional and bad courtroom practice. Bundy and Henry discuss some different techniques trial lawyers can use and incorporate to deal with speaking objections.

The duo went on to end their article by stating the following: “Credibility is everything at trial. A calculated approach for addressing speaking objections can enhance our credibility with the court while neutralizing our opponent’s bad behavior. Like many aspects of trial practice, the exercise of discretion is key. The nuclear option is not necessary if simple diplomacy will resolve the issue. ‘If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.’”

In “Leading the Way,” Bundy and Henry discuss the importance of being able to ask leading questions to hostile witnesses, specifically during cross-examination. The tactic of employing leading questions during cross examination is a powerful because as Bundy and Henry said: “When we are able to use leading questions, we can deliver facts efficiently rather than in a narrative, open-ended manner.”

Oklahoma trial lawyers

Accomplished Oklahoma Trial Lawyers Who Make a Difference

Bundy and Henry’s most recent written efforts cap off a memorable fall for the duo and the rest of Fry & Elder. Earlier in the month Henry was named the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section.  Henry, Bundy and fellow Fry & Elder attorneys Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. and T. Luke Barteaux also were recognized by Super Lawyers®, while Fry & Elder made the prestigious U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms list for a fourth consecutive year. If you are looking for a team of experienced and accomplished Oklahoma trial lawyers, don’t hesitate to contact Fry & Elder today.

Dealing With The Holidays And Divorce (Part One)

Holiday visitation schedule

Thanksgiving arrives tomorrow to signify the beginning of the annual holiday season. While the holidays are a highly-anticipated time of the year for many families, some families will be split up this holiday season for the first time because of divorce. Dealing with a divorce or the recent effects of divorce can be trying, particularly during the holidays for couples with children.

The Oklahoma divorce lawyers of Fry & Elder realize this and urge those couples with children who will be split up for the first time to come up with a holiday visitation schedule that each parent can sign off on if they have not already. Below are a few things to consider when writing out a holiday visitation schedule for separated parents.

Give & Take

It is important to understand going into the scheduling process that no party is going to get exactly what they want. Your child can only be in one place at one time so there needs to be a little give and take. This approach works much smoother when the parents respect one another and the fact that they both love and want to spend time with their child.

Create Ways to Share the Holidays

The most classic model of a holiday visitation schedule for divorced parents probably is the even-year, odd-year formula in which one parent gets certain holidays during the even years and one during the odd years. Some holidays could of course be parent specific. For example, one parent may have a longstanding Memorial Day weekend tradition that they want to keep intact, while the other may have an established Labor Day tradition.

Remember that Memories are Made During the Holidays

On the surface, it may seem like children most look forward to the holidays because of the gifts, food, traditions and getting a break from school. While these are all important elements of the holiday season for a child, deep down it is the time spent with each parent that they will remember and cherish most vividly. This is important for each parent to keep in mind during the holidays. Because there will be a break from school, each parent should try and best maximize their time with their child – keep them active with activities and outings and don’t be afraid to incorporate some new traditions into the holiday mix. These types of things will further expand on your child’s holidays memories with you.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

If you are going through a divorce this holiday season and have children, know that there are resources available. The Oklahoma family law firm of Fry & Elder has been consistently recognized as one the elite family law firms in the nation, having been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms list for each of the past four years. Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. is one of only 19 attorneys in Oklahoma to be a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and also has been named  Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 by Best Lawyers®. Fellow Fry & Elder partner M. Shane Henry was recently named the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section.

In addition to Fry and Henry, trial lawyers Aaron D. Bundy and James R. Elder have each achieved the prestigious AV® Preeminent Peer Review Rating by Martindale-Hubbell®. If you need help drafting or modifying an existing holiday visitation schedule don’t hesitate to contact Fry & Elder today.  

Fry & Elder’s Egan Gives Back To The Tulsa Community

Tulsa community involvement

While attorneys at the Tulsa law firm of Fry & Elder are most known for their courtroom prowess, Fry & Elder lawyers are also active in the Tulsa community.

Katie Egan is the latest Fry & Elder lawyer to make a positive impact in the Tulsa community. Egan served as this year’s Chair of the annual Champagne & Chocolate Gala presented by Living Arts of Tulsa. The event, which “raises funds for contemporary art exhibits, performance art events, new music concerts and spoken word events” was held this past weekend in the Brady District.

“This was my second year helping with the event,” Egan said. “I volunteered last year and then they asked me to chair it this year.  I had an amazing time helping out this year.  To be able to showcase local artists and their fabulous pieces while at the same time raising money for an organization that gives so much back to the community was a phenomenal opportunity.”

The event was well attended and well publicized. Multiple media outlets interviewed Egan about the Champagne & Chocolate Gala, including Tulsa CBS affiliate KOTV Channel 6. The event is just one of many that takes place in the Tulsa community during the holiday season.

Tulsa community involvement

“I think it’s important that if you have the time to volunteer in the community that you try and do so,” Egan said. “The holidays are a great time to get involved and meet some new people.”

Egan became the first female attorney to work at Fry & Elder when she was hired in 2015. Before arriving at Fry & Elder, Egan practiced law in Connecticut and New York where she is also licensed. Much of her practice centers around high-asset family law cases.

In addition to Egan, Fry & Elder immigration law attorney Lorena Rivas also has made and effort to give back to the Tulsa community through her involvement as the mock trial coach for Union Alternative High School. Fellow Fry & Elder attorneys Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr., James R. Elder, M. Shane Henry, Aaron D. Bundy, T. Luke Barteaux, Kirsten Bernhardt and Melissa Fell have also all been active in Tulsa community related events over the years.

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