For children, the holiday season is often the most anticipated time of the year. Memories are made and gifts are unwrapped. For many parents who have recently gone through a divorce or are in the process of going through a divorce, the holiday season is likely met with a little less excitement. Scheduling and the holidays themselves can lead to stress, discomfort and sadness. The Oklahoma divorce lawyers of Fry & Elder believe that one proven and effective way to reduce this stress is to shift the focus off yourself and put the children first this holiday season. Below are some tips for how this can best be achieved.
Make time for your children
If this is the first holiday season you will experience with your children separated from your ex, it is important that you carve out some additional free time to spend together. This might mean trying to get a little time off from work or leaving work a little earlier on some days. It is a new experience for your children and you so spending quality time and doing things together will help them and you better cope with the changes. The most important thing you can do this holiday season for your children is to strengthen your relationships with them and reinforce that things happen and life goes on.
Embrace the past and inject the new
Just because the family dynamics has changed does not mean you need to let go of old traditions. If cooking a certain dinner on Christmas Eve and watching a certain movie or going on a drive to check out Christmas lights is something you have enjoyed and look forward to doing together then keep those traditions intact. That said, this holiday season also might be a great time to incorporate some new traditions into the mix. That might mean volunteering at a shelter together or going on some sort of quick getaway trip. The important thing is that you’re trying out new things together.
Be considerate of your children’s feelings
Simply put: Take the high road. While you may have some negative feelings about your ex, it is important that you keep them in check. You are not doing your children any favors by putting down or making negative statements about your ex, particularly in front of them. If you really want to show your children a shining example of taking the high road and putting others first, consider going the extra mile and helping them out with gifts for them to give your ex and other family members (i.e. ex in-laws).
Experience the Fry & Elder difference
For nearly 50 years, the Oklahoma divorce lawyers at Fry & Elder have been highly regarded in their ability to handle family law dynamics. Much of this stems from their philosophy of putting the best interests of the children first not just during the holidays but throughout the entire year.
For their efforts, The U.S. News & World Report has named Fry & Elder to its Best Law Firms list each of the past four years. Individually, Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. was named Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 by Best Lawyers® and he is one of just 19 attorneys in the state of Oklahoma to be named a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
Fellow Fry & Elder partner M. Shane Henry was named the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section, while Aaron D. Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux, along with Fry and Henry also garnered Super Lawyers® accolades earlier this fall. If you are dealing with a divorce or child custody issue this holiday season, contact Fry & Elder today and consult with a team of talented attorneys.