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Tulsa Divorce Lawyer Debunks Child Support Myths (Part 1)

When it comes to child support, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there.  The Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder hopes to provide you with a better understanding of how child support in Oklahoma typically works by debunking a couple of child support myths associated with child support as told by an accomplished and reputable Tulsa Divorce Lawyer.

Child support myths

Child Support Myth #1: I will not be able to afford child support

First and foremost, child support is not some random number that gets pulled and thrown out. It is based on a number of factors that include monthly income, interest derived from investments, the time you spend with your kids and other additional factors. Since child support is primarily based on income, you will not be required to pay more than you make. Child support payments can also be adjusted should you lose your job or experience other significant changes in your financial situation.

Child Support Myth #2: Child support is for women only, and they do not spend it on kids

By and large, child support payments are generally made to the parent, which has primary custody, for their expenses. Typically, these expenses consist of clothing, health insurance and children’s school and after school activities’ costs. The majority of time, the child support number is based on the child’s expenses.

Child support myths are more common than one may initially think. Should you have any additional questions about child support in Oklahoma or any additional inquiries in regards to family law, the family law offices of Fry & Elder urge you to call today and set up a personal consultation with an experienced and accomplished Tulsa Divorce Lawyer.

More Insight on Joint Child Custody by Skilled Tulsa Divorce Attorneys

Tulsa Divorce Attorneys

Oklahoma Family Lawyers, sitting from left to right, James R. Elder, Aaron D. Bundy, M. Shane Henry, Luke Barteaux and Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr.

As a follow up to a blog earlier this month, here are a few more tips from the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder on how to make joint child custody in Oklahoma and other parts in the country work in your favor.

Be flexible and willing to adjust

While a judge might have ruled in your favor or against your favor, it is very important for you to understand and realize that custody arrangements are not designed to be set in stone. They can and should easily change, especially when there are new dynamics or developments that happen from within a family. As your child grows and develops, so might your custody arrangement. This might mean changing visitation days around. It is important that you are willing to have an open mind when involved in joint child custody.

Consider age

There is nothing wrong with adhering to a schedule, but as your child gets older and more emotionally mature, it might be wise to think about modifying the visitation schedule to better accommodate their needs. Research has indicated that it can be difficult for a younger child to be away from one parent for a long period of time, which might mean that shorter stays with each parent could be more beneficial.  Once your child gets older and starts taking on a busier schedule, it might be wise to think about alternating weeks.

As always, the Tulsa divorce attorneys at Fry & Elder recommend that you put your child’s best interests first, be open minded and carefully pick your battles when prompted. Should you have any other additional questions or concerns, please call are office and ask to speak with one of our experienced Tulsa divorce attorneys at Fry & Elder today.

Tulsa Divorce Lawyer Offers Insight on Joint Child Custody

Tulsa Divorce Lawyer

Oklahoma Family Lawyers, sitting from left to right, James R. Elder, Aaron D. Bundy, M. Shane Henry, Luke Barteaux and Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr.

As time marches on, more and more parents and experts are recognizing the value of shared parenting between divorced couples. The Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder is well aware of the rising trend that is joint child custody, which is why we are here to offer a few tips on how to have a successful joint custody relationship with your ex.  Simply put: joint custody is something that can be very beneficial to all parties involved, but it also takes work, as any great Tulsa Divorce Lawyer will tell you.

Be realistic

While you might have the best intentions in mind, all too often a common problem during custody disputes is for one or both parents to ask for too much custodial time. This usually coincides with the fact that parents want to get as much time as possible with their child out of fear that there is a chance that they might be losing them. The truth of the matter is that  quality always trumps quantity when it comes to spending time with your child. The last thing you want to do is overextend yourself so far that you don’t have the necessary energy that your child deserves.

Watch your tongue

It should go without saying that if you really are going to try and make joint custody work with your ex then you absolutely need to make it a priority not to talk badly about your ex. Be prepared for trouble and potential conflicts down the road should you choose to badmouth your ex in front of your child. Your child loves the other parent just like he or she loves you. With that in mind, it is best to keep any negative thoughts to yourself.

Cut your ex some slack

Even though your former spouse may have cheated on you, been emotionally distant or done something else undesirable, it is important for you to remember that they still have the best intentions for your and their child. While your marriage might not have worked out, there still is a good chance that your parenting arrangement can still succeed.

As with anything, there stands a chance that the joint child custody agreement might not work out. If you think this is the case, we encourage you to call the family law firm of Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an established and experienced Tulsa Divorce Lawyer and take the necessary first step to get your problems resolved.

 

Tulsa Divorce Attorneys Offer Advice to Divorcees

Tulsa Divorce Attorneys

Fry & Elder is your Oklahoma Family Law Firm

There is no way to sugar coat it. Going through a divorce is a difficult and tough experience for most everyone that goes through one. There not only is emotional and financial stress involved throughout the process, social pressure and anxiety can also surface, particularly when you begin telling friends and family member about your divorce. With committed and experienced Tulsa divorce attorneys, the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder is well versed on the stress that goes along with divorce and child custody issues, which is why we want to offer a few insightful tips on how to answer questions about your divorce.

Combat the temptation to gossip

There is no doubt that it is good to vent, particularly to close friends and family, but you would be wise to watch your tone around others. It absolutely is in your best interests to avoid talking trash about your ex or going too deep into the details of your divorce. People love to gossip, and these kinds of things can easily become the topic of conversation from within your social circle. Our advice to you is to be careful and to tread lightly.

You are entitled to privacy

Some of us out there are not too keen on sharing personal matters, even with relatives and close friends. While they may have the best intentions by asking you questions about your divorce, sometimes bringing up painful memories can keep one from moving on. If this is indeed the case, then you absolutely have the right to stay quiet. In fact, there is nothing wrong with proceeding in that manner. You choice of keeping the particulars of your divorce quiet and to yourself are something that others will have to learn to deal and something that you do not have to compromise on.

What do you say then?

If you do find yourself being bombarded with questions about your divorce, you may not want to go into specific details, but you also don’t want to come off or appear rude. You best bet to get through this is to come up with simple, vague but genuine response. This might mean saying something like: “It’s been difficult, but each day I’m getting better.” To shift the focus off you, you might want to then ask them a question about how things are going for them.

We know that divorce can be hard, but hopefully these tips will give you game plan on how to deal with things when it becomes a topic of conversations. Should you need any other advice on managing your divorce or child custody matters, contact family law firm of Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with proven and experienced Tulsa divorce attorneys.

Same Sex Marriage can Lead to Same Sex Divorce in Oklahoma

Tulsa Family Law Firm

Tulsa Family Law Firm Fry & Elder

Marriage is different today. Sweeping laws in over 30 states, Oklahoma included, that now allow same sex marriage mean more couples than ever before can get married. It also means more couples than ever before can also split up and get divorced. As with any marriage, problems and disagreements can arise. When this happens, divorce can give a couple a clearer path than they might otherwise have.

What Should You Do?

The Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder recognizes the right for same sex couples to get both married and divorced. Divorce laws were created to ensure a fair split of all assets of the union, including allowances for the emotional support of a non-working partner, but not all divorces are created equal – least of all courtroom battles – which is why it would be in your best interest to retain a skilled and battle-tested Tulsa Divorce Lawyer.

Unlike opposite-sex marriage, same sex marriage laws are complicated because federal and state laws often differ. Furthermore, some states allow same-sex couples to get married even if they are not residents. This can make getting a same sex divorce in Oklahoma tricky because other states might have residency requirements to get divorced. Essentially, you can’t get a divorce in a state that does not recognize marriage, and you also can’t get divorced in a state where you are not a resident.

Because same-sex marriage laws still are in its infancy, most of the data in regards to same-sex divorce rates is not very developed. Same-sex marriage in Oklahoma has only been legal since October of this year. That said, data suggests that divorce rate among same-sex couples will rise toward the rate of heterosexuals.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Whether you are going through a divorce, child custody issue or both, the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder has the experience and skill in place to help you get through the process. The firm was named to the U.S. News & World Report’s list of Best Law Firms for 2015. Additionally, Robert  G “Hap” Fry Jr. further validated himself as  one of the premier Tulsa Divorce Lawyers when he was honored as Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa 2016 by Best Lawyers®.  Fellow Fry & Elder attorneys M. Shane Henry, T. Luke Barteaux and Aaron D. Bundy have each received SuperLawyers® Rising Stars™ accolades. Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with a skilled and experienced attorney from an elite Tulsa family law firm.

 

Helpful Tips for Getting Through a Holiday Divorce

Tulsa Family Law Firm

Tulsa Family Law Firm Fry & Elder

They aren’t the “most wonderful time of the year” for everyone. If you are going through a holiday divorce or separation, the holidays can’t end soon enough. Chances are they feel like a cruel joke, yet they are in full swing so here are few tips to help you get through the holiday season from the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder.

It is OK to feel emotional

Chances are, you had some good times during the holidays with your ex. If that is indeed the case, you should be prepared to feel wide range of emotions that include: anger, resentment, depression, sadness and jealousy. The fact of the matter is, you need to allow yourself to have those emotions and be OK with it. There is nothing wrong with remembering the good times and having both fondness and sadness.

Put others first

Sometimes the key to getting through difficult times is to focus on others. When you really think about it, the holidays are about being thankful, giving back and about sharing. There is no shortage of people that you can boost up during the holiday season. Try and make the holidays not about you. One great way to do this is to volunteer a little of your time somewhere. Helping others can often help get your mind off your own troubles.

Keep old traditions alive and also begin some new traditions

As much are you might want things to change, it is important to keep old traditions alive, particularly if you have children. Children feel secure with traditions and routine, so it would be wise to sit down and talk with your kids about what they might like to change and what they might like to keep the same. You will feel much better about the holiday season after you have done it.

Keep things in perspective

The last thing you need to do is go overboard and buy your kids everything they want because you want to make up for the divorce and feel guilty. Try and provide something better – time and attention. You need to remember that you are not the only person going through a divorce through the holiday season, and that there are many other people out there who are enduring far more tragedy during this time of year. As bad as things are, chances are you have some pretty good things in place like family, friends, health and job security.

 

Divorce is tough; hire a skilled Tulsa Divorce Lawyer

Tulsa Divorce Lawyer

Oklahoma Family Lawyers, sitting from left to right, James R. Elder, Aaron D. Bundy, M. Shane Henry, Luke Barteaux and Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr.

Those entering the ring of divorce would be well served to come in equipped and with an understanding that the courtroom is indeed a battlefield. And, the fact of the matter is, not all courtroom battles are created equal. This makes it all the more important to hire an experienced and reputable Tulsa Divorce Lawyer.

Simply put: Whenever you are about to engage in battle, you want to make sure that you come in with a loaded gun, use up all your ammunition and be ready to throw the weapon at the opposing side if necessary. Here are a few scenarios in which you absolutely must hire a proven family law attorney to not only help you win the battle, but also get out of it with as minimal of injury as possible.

Your spouse has made false allegations against you

If this is something that is happening to you, than you absolutely must hire a proven Tulsa Divorce Lawyer, particularly if these allegations pertain to child abuse, domestic violence or fraud. The fact of the matter is, you cannot risk losing custody or visitation rights because of false allegations.

Your spouse engages in criminal activity

If your spouse takes part in anything unlawful, you would be best served by consulting with an attorney. The repercussions could be serious if you do not talk to a lawyer, particularly if your ex-spouse tries to say that you also were part of the criminal activity.

Your spouse steals money

Sometimes the writing is on the wall before the event happens. All too frequently, your spouse could engage in hiding or moving money. If you think this might be happening, you definitely need to be proactive and call a lawyer to help protect your best interests.

Your spouse alienates your kids

If you have children, you need to make sure that your relationship with them remains intact. As is often the case, a spouse will try and pit the children against the other spouse. Don’t risk losing any visitation rights. Contact a skilled Tulsa Divorce Lawyer if you have any hunch that this is going on.

Your spouse is abusive

If you are the victim of spousal abuse, you need to take the necessary steps to end the vicious cycle. One of those steps is to call an attorney and set up a consultation. Your attorney will help you attain a restraining order if you need one and other practical advice.

While divorce, child custody and other family law issues are not always the most fun experiences to go through, it is important that you arm yourself with a skilled and experienced attorney. Fry & Elder has established itself as not just one of the best family law firms in Oklahoma, but in the United States. Call us today and set up a consultation.

 

Fry & Elder Makes U.S. News & World Report’s Esteemed List

Tulsa Divorce Lawyer

Fry & Elder is your Oklahoma Family Law Firm

The Tulsa Family Law Firm of Fry & Elder has earned yet another notable accolade to further distinguish itself as one of the nation’s most prominent law firms The Tulsa family law firm made U.S. News & World Report’s list of  Best Law Firms for 2015 and acquired Tier 1 status – the highest ranking the publication awards firms on the list.

Founded in 1969 by renowned Tulsa divorce lawyer  Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr., the firm is no stranger to finding a spot on elite lists. Fry & Elder made the highly sought after Best Lawyers® list in 2015. Fry also has been named a “Super Lawyer” in Oklahoma and is a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Firm attorneys James Elder, M. Shane Henry, Aaron D. Bundy and Fry are AV® Preeminent Peer Review Rated by Martindale-Hubbell®, which is the highest recognition in the legal industry.

Unrivaled Legal Experience

Fry & Elder brings over half a century of experience to the table. The firm has only continued to grow and expand its services in regards to family law. Henry, another highly-accomplished Tulsa Divorce Lawyer, is the firm’s third partner, and Joyce Caldwell, Judy Willits, Luke Barteaux, Emma Hardin and Deborah Lauderdale round out the firm’s legal staff. Additionally, Barteaux and Bundy each are on the Super Lawyers® Rising Stars list.

Founded in 1933, U.S. News & World Report has been highly influential with annual ranking and reports of various colleges and other institutions. The publication covers many different fields, including law, medicine, social sciences, business and public affairs.

The criteria for making U.S. News’ “Best Law Firms” list is based on a demanding evaluation process that, as reported by U.S. News, includes the collection of client and lawyer evaluations, peer review from leading attorneys in their field, and review of additional information provided by law firms as part of the formal submission process.

Family Law Focus

Fry & Elder practices divorce, child custody and other family law areas in and out of the courtroom. If you are in need of a highly regarded Tulsa Divorce Lawyer, please contact the firm at your earliest convenience to set up a personal consultation with one of the firm’s qualified legal professionals.

 

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