They aren’t the “most wonderful time of the year” for everyone. If you are going through a holiday divorce or separation, the holidays can’t end soon enough. Chances are they feel like a cruel joke, yet they are in full swing so here are few tips to help you get through the holiday season from the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder.
It is OK to feel emotional
Chances are, you had some good times during the holidays with your ex. If that is indeed the case, you should be prepared to feel wide range of emotions that include: anger, resentment, depression, sadness and jealousy. The fact of the matter is, you need to allow yourself to have those emotions and be OK with it. There is nothing wrong with remembering the good times and having both fondness and sadness.
Put others first
Sometimes the key to getting through difficult times is to focus on others. When you really think about it, the holidays are about being thankful, giving back and about sharing. There is no shortage of people that you can boost up during the holiday season. Try and make the holidays not about you. One great way to do this is to volunteer a little of your time somewhere. Helping others can often help get your mind off your own troubles.
Keep old traditions alive and also begin some new traditions
As much are you might want things to change, it is important to keep old traditions alive, particularly if you have children. Children feel secure with traditions and routine, so it would be wise to sit down and talk with your kids about what they might like to change and what they might like to keep the same. You will feel much better about the holiday season after you have done it.
Keep things in perspective
The last thing you need to do is go overboard and buy your kids everything they want because you want to make up for the divorce and feel guilty. Try and provide something better – time and attention. You need to remember that you are not the only person going through a divorce through the holiday season, and that there are many other people out there who are enduring far more tragedy during this time of year. As bad as things are, chances are you have some pretty good things in place like family, friends, health and job security.