When is it a good time to introduce my new partner or significant other to my children? If you have gone through a divorce and pondered this question, rest assured that you are not alone. In fact, it might be one of the more common questions the Tulsa divorce lawyers at Fry & Elder get asked.
While it may take a shorter amount of time for some, and a longer amount of time for others, most everyone who has been through a divorce is optimistic that they will again find a significant other. Consider that to be healthy and refreshing. But, the fact of the matter is, no matter how excited you are to have a rekindled your romantic side, you must be considerate of others – specifically your children.
The Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder encourages and recommends you to factor in the following items when you start considering the notion of introducing your new romantic interest to your children.
Has enough time gone by?
First and foremost, children need to time to adjust to their parents’ divorce. Just how much time varies from child to child and often depends on other factors like their age, but a safe bet is that they will need at least a year or two to get over their emotions, anger and sadness. Their adjustment to your divorce could become more difficult if you introduce them to someone you are dating too quickly or at the wrong time.
How will your children view your new romantic interest?
Chances are, they might not view her or him in the same light you do. That’s not to say they won’t develop a solid and respectful relationship with your new love, but they might initially view him or her as a rival and not have positive feelings about this person.
What else should you take into consideration?
One of the biggest things would be to provide constant and continued reassurance that in no way has your love for them diminished or wavered in any capacity. You need to convey and tell them that they are an even bigger part of your life now than ever before, and that you have plenty of love to go around. You also would be wise to tell them that you encourage their feedback and ideas about when and how they should meet your new partner for the first time.
Experience the Fry & Elder difference
For over 40 years, Fry & Elder has been one of the most dynamic and forward thinking Tulsa Family Law firms. U.S News & World Report named the firm to its exclusive list of Best Law Firms for 2015. Acclaimed Tulsa divorce lawyer Robert G “Hap” Fry was honored as Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa 2016 by Best Lawyers®. Fellow Tulsa divorce lawyers M. Shane Henery, Aaron D. Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux have each garnered SuperLawyers® Rising Stars™ accolades. If you are in need of assistance with or have any questions about Tulsa family law, contact the Tulsa divorce lawyers of Fry & Elder today.