Divorcing a narcissist is always difficult. It is even more difficult during the holidays. Merriam-Webster defines narcissistic personality disorder as being “characterized especially by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, persistent need for admiration, lack of empathy for others, excessive pride in achievements, and snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitude.”
While narcissistic behavior isn’t easy to deal with at any time of the year, it is particularly trying during the holiday season when a narcissist’s traits are even more intensified, bringing with them a greater appetite for attention, control and confrontation. If you are dealing with or are divorcing a narcissist this holiday season, the Tulsa divorce law firm of Fry & Elder empathizes with you and wishes to offer a few tips on how to better navigate through the holidays while separating from or divorcing a narcissist.
Keep Your Cool
As hard as this might be to do, it is imperative, particularly if you are going through a contested divorce or child custody battle, to not fight back with a narcissist. This doesn’t necessarily mean lying down, but it does mean letting things go and not showing vulnerability, which is what narcissists often feed off.
Take Gestures of Kindness and Compassion with a Grain of Salt
If your ex is showing concern for you this holiday season, odds are those gestures are nothing more than manipulative tactics he or she is trying to engage you in. While it may seem like an act of kindness, remember that a narcissist really only truly cares about himself or herself.
Communicate Only When Required
This might seem extreme, especially if you have children, but you will be better off in the long run if you limit lines of communication when at all possible with a narcissist. Co-parenting with a narcissist is at best futile and at worst a disaster. Establish firm but clear boundaries and remember that maintaining them is in the child’s best interests.
Know that a Proven Tulsa Divorce Law Firm is Just a Phone Call Away
For nearly 50 years, the name Fry & Elder has been recognized with elite Tulsa divorce and child custody representation. That reputation has helped the Fry & Elder achieve national recognition as evidenced by the firm making the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms list each of the past four years.
Fry & Elder attorneys Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. and M. Shane Henry are experienced and skilled in handling divorce and child custody cases involving a narcissist. Fry named Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Tulsa for 2016 by Best Lawyers®, while Henry was recognized as the 2016 Oklahoma Family Law Attorney of the Year by the Oklahoma Bar Association Family Law Section. Fry is also one of just of just 19 Oklahoma attorneys to be a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
Fry and Henry, along with Aaron D. Bundy and T. Luke Barteaux all garnered Super Lawyers® accolades. Firm attorneys Lorena Rivas and Kirsten Bernhardt are skilled immigration law and guardianship attorneys, respectively, while James R. Elder, Katie Egan and Melissa Fell round out a talented team of attorneys. Contact Fry & Elder today.
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