Fry & Elder

Tulsa Family Law Firm Focusing on Divorce, Child Custody & Litigation

Tulsa, OK Law Firm
918.585.1107

Oklahoma Military Academy Honors Fry & Elder Partner

CLAREMORE – James R. Elder still has plenty of rhythm and beat.

Oklahoma Military Academy honors James R. Elder

The Fry & Elder partner took to the stage and wowed a Saturday night crowd when he showed off his percussion-playing skills and sat in on the drums for a rousing performance of Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode” during an event recognizing Oklahoma Military Academy alumni at Rogers State University.

Making things all the better for Elder – a practicing Tulsa attorney with over 40 years legal experience – was the fact that he was the event’s guest of honor.

Elder received the William E. Potts Award given to the highest-ranking graduate during the weekend long event.

“It’s a tremendous honor,” said James R. Elder, a 1967 graduate of the Oklahoma Military Academy. “I have such fond memories of attending school here. My time here really helped instill the values and work ethic I would need to be successful personally and professionally. This weekend was a really a lot of fun for me and the others close to me.”

Elder attended OMA, which doubled as a high school and junior college, for five years and received his commission as a Second Lieutenant through ROTC training.

Oklahoma Military Academy Steeped in History

Though the Oklahoma Military Academy graduated its final class in 1971 and would later become Rogers State University, the former school has a rich history.

The school was founded shortly after World War I in 1919 and graduated a number of distinguished cadets and alumni, including William E. Potts, a Lieutenant General who served in World War II, the Korean War and Vietnam.

After the Oklahoma Military Academy closed its doors in 1971, Elder and two other alumni were responsible for forming and setting up the OMA Alumni Chapter in 1973 to preserve school memories and connections. The group held its first reunion in 1974 and celebrated OMA’s 100th founding anniversary this year.

In addition to winning the William E. Potts Awards, Elder was recognized with the Distinguished Alumni Award in 1984 and shortly after was inducted into the Oklahoma Military Academy Hall of Fame.

“This place really means a lot to me,” James R. Elder said.

James R. Elder a Standout Tulsa Attorney for over 40 Years

Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. knew just how important this past weekend was for Elder so the other Fry & Elder named partner made it a point to attend all the festivities to support his friend, colleague and business partner.

“Jim is very deserving of this honor,” Fry said. “He kind of tries to hide in the background sometimes, but he is very committed, organized and knowledgeable. We’re extremely fortunate to have him, and he has been instrumental to the firm’s longevity and continued success.”

Elder joined Fry & Elder in 1991 and is the son of the late C. Lawrence Elder, who helped pioneer the firm by mentoring Fry.

James R. Elder has been recognized as a Martindale Hubbell AV® Preeminent Peer Review Rated Attorney a remarkable 37 years in a row.

The Martindale-Hubbell® name has been in place since 1868 and is considered to be the “gold standard” in attorney ratings.

Elder’s practice primarily focuses on family law, including divorce, child custody, child support and modifications.

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with James R. Elder.

Top Tulsa Law Firm Lands Trio of Talented, Experienced Attorneys

There is a buzz permeating within the walls at 1630 S. Main Street which has been both constant and reassuring for a top Tulsa law firm.

Fry & Elder’s stature as one of the best Tulsa law firms has been further reinforced by the arrival of three proven trial lawyers in 2019.

Top Tulsa Law Firm

James Morton, Mary McMillen and Sara Schmook joined Fry & Elder in February, March and April, respectively, this year and have brought an enthusiastic nose-to-the-grindstone approach to the decorated Tulsa law firm which is seeking to be named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List for a seventh consecutive year in 2020.

“They have been a breath of fresh air,” Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. said of the trio. “I have known (James) for a long time and have had discussions about him joining the firm for the past 15 years. The timing just wasn’t right until this year, so I am very happy to have him on board. He’s the real deal.

“Mary and Sara each came here very highly recommended and have been extremely impressive thus far. I think what stands out the most about them is their maturity and desire to not just improve as attorneys but to approach practicing law in the right manner.”

Fry & Elder’s New Trio Brings Variety of Legal Experience, Skills to Top Tulsa Law Firm

Family law has been the legal focus of many attorneys at Fry & Elder, and it will also be a point of emphasis for Morton, McMillen and Schmook.

Though all the three trial lawyers have numerous experiences handling complicated and high-stakes divorce, child custody, child support cases, each of the three attorneys adds a unique legal skill-set complementary to the top Tulsa law firm.

Morton joined Fry & Elder in early 2019 and has over 30 years of domestic relations experience, making him the most seasoned attorney with the firm next to named partners James R. Elder and Fry.

Standout immigration attorney Lorena Rivas, who attended law school with McMillen and Schmook, is the Fry & Elder’s other decorated partner.

“I’ve done thousands of trials over the years, but the only way to really get comfortable in the courtroom is by being behind your desk and doing your homework,” James Morton said. “Each of my clients’ cases feature its own unique set of circumstances and challenges. I make it a point to really listen to my clients and work with them to develop a strategy to present the best possible outcome.”

In addition to her legal prowess in family law, McMillen is considered a rising star among Tulsa appellate attorneys.

McMillen has successfully argued and advocated for her clients in the Oklahoma Courts of Criminal and Civil Appeals.

Her success as a criminal defense attorney comes from understanding the intricacies of criminal procedure and not being afraid to push the State to meet its burden of providing all the elements of a crime beyond a reasonable doubt.

“Appellate work has always excited and challenged me,” Mary McMillen said. “It is unique in that you are taking on a case or issue with a fresh perspective and then you develop a new game plan to provide the best legal outcome possible.”

As a licensed CPA, Schmook adds a unique dynamic to the firm.

Not only is her legal practice tailored to focus on specific Oklahoma legal financial services such as guardianships, probates, estate planning, business formations and applications to the IRS for 501 (c)(3) not for profit organizations. She also is an excellent choice for clients going through a high-asset divorce.

“Quite often, there are a lot of financial implications which come in to play with complex divorces, particularly if there are a number of assets being disputed which need to be divided,” Sara Schmook said. “Fry & Elder has been a name that has carried a lot prestige to the sphere of Tulsa family law over the years so I am very excited to be with the firm.”

Before his move to 1630 S. Main Street in January, Morton said he had previously moved just two other times during his 30-year career. Shortly after his third career move, it didn’t take long for Morton to feel at home at Fry & Elder and declare his moving days to be behind him.

“I’ve only moved three times in my career,” James C. Morton said. “I have no intention of picking up my desk and moving my computer again. Fry & Elder has developed a tremendous reputation in all facets of family law over the years. This is a firm where my skills and experience can be best put to use.”

To set up a personal consultation with Morton, McMillen or Schmook, contact Fry & Elder today.

Top National Immigration Law Attorney Rivas Excels on Big Stage

Lorena Rivas’ reputation as a top national immigration law attorney continues to grow.

Top national immigration law attorney Lorena Rivas

The decorated Fry & Elder immigration attorney recently attended the 2019 American Immigration Lawyers Association Midwinter Conference in Indian Wells, California where she not only was on the Conference Program Committee but was one of the featured presenters during the highly-anticipated, day-long Jan. 25 event at the Hyatt Regency Indian Wells Resort & Spa.

Rivas co-presented with Kate Jastram on strategies and practices to help overcome the controversial immigration law decision “Matter of A-B-.”

Jastram serves as the Senior Staff Attorney and Gender Asylum Campaign Director with the Center for Gender and Refugee Studies.

Their presentation titled “Persisting After Matter of A-B-” focused on discussing different strategies for an effective and successful asylum practice, particularly in light of the catastrophic impact of Matter of A–B–.

The two highly-sought after national immigration law practitioners framed their presentation to incorporate a forward-looking perspective of brainstorming and other creative methods to further enable immigration law practitioners the opportunity to build an array of legal arguments to best assist asylum seekers.

Presentation topics included the following:

  • Best Practices for Framing Asylum Claims after Matter of A–B–
  • Asylum Unit and Immigration Court Patterns
  • Best Practices for Pushing Back on Negative Trends
  • Preparing for and Challenging the Executive Office for Immigration Review (EOIR) on Pretermitted Applications and Pre-Hearing Requirements
  • Circuit Court Developments on “Particular Social Groups”
  • What About Capitol Hill?

The Cloud of Controversy Surrounding Matter of A-B-

While immigration law has been a hot-button issue for some time, few immigration issues have become more heated and contested than the Matter of A-B- decision and how it affects asylum claims.

The cloud of controversy over Matter of A-B- ensued on June 11, 2018 when former U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions overturned a grant of asylum to a Salvadoran domestic abuse victim, thus potentially excluding immigrants seeking refuge from sexual, gang and other forms of violence in their home countries.

The victim, whose initials are A.B., sought Asylum to the U.S. from her native country El Salvador after being raped and beaten for 15 years by her former husband.

As reported by Jastram’s Center for Gender and Refugee Studies, Session’s decision “threatens the viability of asylum claims by domestic violence survivors and others who have faced persecution by private actor.”

Rivas had this to say in regards to Session’s Matter of A-B- decision:

“It’s very tragic and heartbreaking. The sad thing is there are many other victims out there with similar stories. We have always been a country, which has sought to stand up and advocate for victims such as Ms. A.B. Those people need us now more than ever. The current policies in place need to change and further dialogue needs to be established between parties.”

Top National Immigration Law Attorney Lorena Rivas has Always Made an Impact

From the time she began attending law school at the University of Tulsa, Lorena Rivas has been making a difference in the realm of immigration law.

During her time at TU, Rivas successfully prevented a Haitian national from being returned to Haiti in terrible conditions due to the recent earthquake and hurricane. She also helped a mother and her two children remain in the U.S. after being victims of domestic and sexual abuse in Mexico.

After graduating with honors from the TU College of Law, Rivas’ impact in immigration law became even more far-reaching.

She has traveled to Washington D.C. multiple times to meet with state and national legislators to discuss and advocate for immigration law reform as a top national immigration law attorney.

Additionally, Rivas has garnered many honors and awards for her legal contributions and efforts in immigration law throughout the years.

She further established herself as a top national immigration law attorney when she was chosen as the 2018 Fern Holland Award Winner, an honor annually given to a lawyer who advocates for human rights or the empowerment of women.

Rivas also was honored as a 2018 Super Lawyers® Rising Star and was named to Leadership Tulsa Class 60 and to the Tulsa Business & Legal News’ 2016 Women of Distinction Awards.

Top national immigration law attorney Lorena Rivas

Gender Asylum Campaign Director Kate Jastram Impressed by Top National Immigration Attorney Lorena Rivas

Following her experience presenting with Rivas at the annual American Immigration Lawyers Midwinter Conference, Jastram had this to say about the distinguished immigration attorney.

“It was a tremendous pleasure presenting at the AILA conference with Lorena,” Jastrom said. “She’s clearly extremely knowledgeable about asylum law, and she made an excellent contribution to our AILA practice advisory, showing attorneys the concrete steps they need to take to effectively represent their clients.

“Her presentation was polished and we got a lot of good feedback from the approximately 100 attorneys in attendance. I’m very glad to know there are attorneys like her helping asylum-seekers navigate this complex legal environment.”

Rivas said the experience she had presenting with Jastram and serving on the AILA Removal Track Conference Committee was a legal highlight she won’t soon forget.

“I could not be more complimentary of Kate and the knowledge she has in really so many areas of immigration law,” Rivas said. “She was very professional and very resourceful. The opportunity to present with her and take part in the conference was very satisfying and rewarding.”

Rivas is one of many standout attorneys with Fry & Elder. The prestigious Oklahoma law firm has made the exclusive U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List every year since 2014.

Rivas provides comprehensive legal representation in the following areas of immigration law:

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with top national immigration law attorney Lorena Rivas.

Fry & Elder Again Included in Best Oklahoma Law Firms Neighborhood

The U.S. News & World Report knows where to look for greatness. Whether its “Best Colleges,” “Best Hospitals,” or, in the case of Fry & Elder, “Best Oklahoma Law Firms,” the esteemed publication knows exactly where to go to evaluate excellence for 30 years and counting.

Best Oklahoma Law Firms

With that in mind, it wasn’t at all surprising that Fry & Elder found itself squarely on the U.S. News & World Report’s 2019 “Best Law Firms” List when the highly-anticipated directory was publicly unveiled on Nov. 1.

For Fry & Elder, it marks the sixth consecutive year the elite Tulsa law firm has been regarded as one of the Best Oklahoma Law Firms.

“It is a very significant award and achievement,” James R. Elder said. “We have established a culture over the years at this firm in which excellence is the expected level with which we operate for our clients and ourselves.

“To have that ideology identified and reinforced by a global media outlet like the U.S. News & World Report for a sixth consecutive year feels great.”

Spot in Best Oklahoma Law Firms Neighborhood Difficult to Obtain

Membership in the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List is not easy. This year’s marks the ninth consecutive year the publication has used a tiered ranking system to rank law firms.

Of the 14,643 law firms reviewed from across the nation by the U.S. News & World Report, only 2,118 firms were selected for inclusion by the publication.

Fry & Elder was ranked as a Metropolitan Tier 1 for Family Law in Tulsa – the highest ranking a firm can achieve in a particular practice area.

As stated in a release by U.S. News & World Report and Best Lawyers®:

“The U.S. News – Best Lawyers® “Best Law Firms” rankings are based on a rigorous evaluation process that includes the collection of client and lawyer evaluations, peer review from leading attorneys in the field, and review of additional information provided by law firms as part of the formal submission process. To be eligible for a 2019 ranking, a law firm must have at least one lawyer recognized in the 24th Edition of The Best Lawyers in America list for that particular location and specialty.”

Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. was named to Best Lawyers® for a ninth consecutive year this past August and was selected as the Best Lawyers® Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Oklahoma 2016.

Fry & Elder’s selection to the 2019 Best Law Firm List comes less than a month after firm attorneys Lorena Rivas, Aaron D. Bundy, Luke Barteaux and Fry were recognized as 2018 Super Lawyers® honorees.

Best Oklahoma Law Firms

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Whether you or someone you know needs legal assistance in family law, immigration law, criminal defense or with a personal injury claim, Fry & Elder has the team in place to help you best navigate through your legal situation.

As one of the Best Oklahoma Law Firms, Fry & Elder’s team of attorneys are some of the most decorated in the state and include the following:

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with a proven and accomplished Oklahoma trial lawyer.

Fry & Elder’s “Tulsa Super Lawyers” Continue to Shine

Tulsa Super Lawyers are in abundance at 1630 S. Main Street.

Tulsa Super Lawyers

The highly-reputable legal publication Super Lawyers® unveiled its list of 2018 honorees, and Fry & Elder was again well represented.

Fry & Elder’s Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr., Aaron D. Bundy, Lorena Rivas and T. Luke Barteaux were each selected for inclusion.

This year marks the 12th consecutive year Fry has designated as Super Lawyer for family law, while Bundy (2013-18), Barteaux (2014-18) and Rivas (2018) were each selected as Super Lawyers Rising Stars.

“Very, very pleased with how well our firm is represented,” Fry said. “Each are extremely accomplished and very deserving. I’m particularly thrilled for Lorena. She’s been a vital part to our firm’s success these past few years and has been worthy of recognition since she joined Fry & Elder (in 2015).

Super Lawyers Selection Further Validates Big Year, Stellar Career for Rivas

For Rivas, 2018 marks her first year to garner Super Lawyers accolades, but as Fry alluded to, Rivas has distinguished herself as one of Tulsa’s top immigration attorneys for quite some time.

She was the recipient of the 2018 Fern Holland Award which is annually given to a lawyer who advocates for human rights or the empowerment of women, and Rivas has traveled to Washington D.C. multiple times to meet with legislators to discuss immigration law reform and improved policies.

Rivas was additionally recognized in 2016 by the Tulsa Business & Legal News as being one of the city’s most accomplished professional women with their annual Women of Distinction Awards.

On multiple occasions, the prominent Tulsa immigration attorney has shared her powerful testimony on what led her into immigration law on multiple occasions and continues to looked at as an authority figure in immigration law.

“Super Lawyers is one of the most esteemed publications in our profession so I am very thrilled to be selected,” Rivas said. “It’s always an honor to receive recognition – be it from a client, colleague or publication such as Super Lawyers.”

Tulsa Super Lawyers

Super Lawyers Selection Process Second to None

What helps set Super Lawyers apart from other legal publications is its highly-regarded selection process. Only the best 5 percent of attorneys in a specific practice area are selected as Super Lawyers, while 2.5 percent of lawyers in a given practice area are chosen as Rising Stars.

The Super Lawyers website says the selection process is as follows:

“Super Lawyers selects attorneys using a patented multiphase selection process. Peer nominations and evaluations are combined with independent research. Each candidate is evaluated on 12 indicators of peer recognition and professional achievement. Selections are made on an annual, state-by-state basis.

“The objective is to create a credible, comprehensive and diverse listing of outstanding attorneys that can be used as a resource for attorneys and consumers searching for legal counsel. Since Super Lawyers is intended to be used as an aid in selecting a lawyer, we limit the lawyer.” ratings to those who can be hired and retained by the public, i.e., lawyers in private practice and Legal Aid attorneys.”

Tulsa Super Lawyers

Fry & Elder Tulsa Super Lawyers to Continue Momentum

The honors and accolades for Fry & Elder do not figure to stop any time soon in 2018. The prestigious Oklahoma law firm is vying to make the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List for a sixth consecutive year.

The U.S. News & World Report will unveil its list on Nov. 1.

Fry, meanwhile, continues to be recognized for his 50th year of practicing law. He was recently recognized by the Tulsa County Bar Association during its Annual Awards Banquet in August for 50 years of membership with the TCBA.

“It always feels great to be recognized by your peers and colleagues,” Fry said. “Honors and awards such as these are never taken for granted. The firm and myself are very appreciative.”

Contact Fry & Elder to set up a personal consultation with a team of Tulsa Super Lawyers.

Highly-Regarded Tulsa Immigration Attorney Weighs in on Child Separation

Highly-regarded Tulsa immigration attorney

California immigration attorney Angeline Chen was torn between what action to initially take when she recently volunteered at the border in Tijuana, Mexico to help a 150-person caravan of immigrants from Central America with the U.S. asylum process.

As reported in a July story by Today.com, the potential scene of children being separated from their parents was one which haunted Chen.

“It is so overwhelming, Chen said. “Do you give the children teddy bears and blankets or do we give them attorneys?”

While immigration law has been a constant hot-topic legal issue for decades, Fry & Elder immigration attorney Lorena Rivas says immigration law policies reached a boiling point this past May when Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced that those caught illegally crossing the border would face criminal prosecution.

The decision prompted the separation of 2,342 migrant children from their parents between early May and June 19 as reported in this NPR article.

Though President Donald Trump has since modified his stance on family separation to keep families intact even though a zero-tolerance policy will remain in place, Rivas believes the repercussions of the initial separations continue to be impactful and far reaching.

“It’s a very tragic and unfortunate mess,” Rivas said. “For the children and parents who have been separated from one another, it’s not a simple quick fix to locate one another. Many immigrants may be undocumented and those with documentation may have had their documents lost in the shuffle. It becomes further complicated for those with a solid claim for asylum, as they are simply trying to escape violent, life-threatening situations from their home countries.”

Fiancé Visa

What can be Done to Help?

First and foremost, Rivas believes there needs to greater awareness brought to the legal issues and uncertainty surrounding the southern border; but the highly-regarded Tulsa immigration attorney also said additional attention needs to be given to the organizations and programs available which people can donate to and support.

These include the following:

ACLU

This well-known organization is currently raising money to “defend asylum-seeking parents forcibly separated from their children.”

NPR recently reported how a federal judge in Washington D.C. ordered the return of an asylum-seeker from El Salvador.

Judge Emmet Sullivan “threatened to hold Attorney General Jeff Sessions in contempt because the government had spirited the woman away while her case was still pending.”

The ACLU has publicly stated that “separating families is inhumane.”

Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project

The ASAP provides an abundant amount of support for refugee families who come to the U.S. because of “unspeakable violence” in their home countries.

The organization has recently sued U.S. Customs and Boarder Protection (CBP) and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) to further fight family separation and human rights violations.

The Texas Civil Rights Project

Closer to home, the TCRP continues to be proactive in its quest to assist asylum-seeking families.

The organization recently denounced the Trump administration’s plan to vacate the Flores Settlement Agreement, which has shaped detention standards for underage migrants since 1997, and expand family detention capabilities.

The Washington Post reported that the Trump administration will increase the size of a tent camp for migrant children outside El Paso from 1,200 beds to as many as 3,800.

The TCRP issues the following statement in response:

“The Trump administration has found a new low in the family separation crisis: seeking indefinite imprisonment of children. Any attempt to withdraw from the Flores Settlement Agreement in order to circumvent previous court orders and expand family detention is wholly unacceptable.

“For months, we watched in horror as children were ripped from their parents, but the remedy for family separation is not, and never will be, indefinitely locking up whole families in immigration prisons.”

Leading Tulsa immigration attorney

A Highly-Regarded Tulsa Immigration Attorney Who Cares

A native of Mutual, Oklahoma, Rivas is a first-generation American who takes great pride in being able to represent the Oklahoma Latino community as a highly-regarded Tulsa immigration attorney.

“I’m a Mexican-American,” Lorena Rivas said. “Immigration law is something that is constantly hitting my life, whether it be family members, friends or my clients. In law school, I initially thought I wouldn’t go into immigration law, but I started thinking about it more, and felt like I could make a bigger impact in that area.”

Rivas has done just that, and continues to make an impact as a highly-regarded Tulsa immigration attorney. She has traveled multiple times to Capital Hill to meet with legislators to advocate for immigration law reform and improved policies.

Rivas also is the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Fern Holland Award. As a respected professional in the Tulsa community, she was selected to take part in the Leadership Tulsa Class 60 for 2018-2019.

Her immigration law practice areas at Fry & Elder include the following:

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with highly-regarded Tulsa immigration attorney Lorena Rivas.

Leading Tulsa Divorce Attorney Fry Makes Best Lawyers List

Speeding around the Go-Kart track at Andy B’s Tulsa with his youngest grandson Clarke riding shotgun, Robert G “Hap” Fry Jr. looked far removed from his day-to-day job as a leading Tulsa divorce attorney.

Leading Tulsa divorce attorney

Yes, Fry looked at ease zipping around the track and lapping the field which also included his son and youngest daughter. But when a pile up stopped the action, Fry couldn’t resist the urge to revert back to his true professional calling.

With his Go-Kart stopped in the middle of the track, Fry calmly reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone … to call a client back.

To those who know Fry, both personally and professionally, the move was hardly surprising.

For 50 years and counting, Fry has gone the extra mile, and the leading Tulsa divorce attorney continues to be handsomely rewarded for his hard work and dedication.

Best Lawyers® publicly unveiled its 2019 listings on Aug. 15 and for the ninth consecutive year, Fry was selected by his peers for inclusion in The Best Lawyers© in America in the field of family law.

“It is a very big honor,” said Fry, who was named Best Lawyers® Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Oklahoma 2016. “To be recognized by my peers and colleagues, particularly at this stage in my career, is very humbling and satisfying. Honors such as this are never taken lightly or for granted, and Best Lawyers® is as good of a legal publication as we have in our industry.”

Best Lawyers® Selection Process Among the Most Rigorous

That Fry has been listed by The Best Lawyers in America© every year since 2011 is no small feat. The publication is widely viewed as the oldest and most respected peer review publication in the legal profession.

Much of this has to do with the rigorous selection process Best Lawyers® employs. Lawyers are not permitted to pay any fee to participate in or be recognized by Best Lawyers. As the website states:

“Recognition by Best Lawyers is based entirely on peer review. Our methodology is designed to capture, as accurately as possible, the consensus opinion of leading lawyers about the professional abilities of their colleagues within the same geographical area and legal practice area.

“Best Lawyers employs a sophisticated, conscientious, rational, and transparent survey process designed to elicit meaningful and substantive evaluations of the quality of legal services. Our belief has always been that the quality of a peer review survey is directly related to the quality of the voters.”

Leading Tulsa Divorce Attorney Fry Continues to Thrive

Because of Fry’s stature and longevity as a prominent Tulsa family law attorney, he has attained no shortage of accolades during a sparkling career.

In addition to being listed by Best Lawyers®, Fry is an 11-time Super Lawyers honoree, an AV-rated attorney by Martindal-Hubbell®, a 2018 Significant Sig Award Winner and he is one of only 19 attorneys in the state to be a Fellow of the prestigious American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

“He has had a remarkable career and continues to operate at an amazing level,” Fry & Elder immigration attorney Lorena Rivas said. “He’s seen it all and done it all. Myself and all the other trial lawyers here at Fry & Elder have learned and continue to learn so much from him on a day-to-day basis.”

While Fry was the only Fry & Elder attorney selected for inclusion in the 2019 edition of The Best Lawyers©, he believes it is only a matter of time before other attorneys join him on the list from Fry & Elder.

The firm has been named U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List each of the past five years and features an energetic and decorated team of attorneys which also include:

“We have a really talented team in place, and we work well together,” Fry said. “Each attorney brings a unique skillset to the firm which has only enhanced our profile and breadth of services. Many of them have already done some great things, and I only see them getting better down the road. The awards will come, no doubt about it.”

And with those words, Fry reached into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone and whisked away.

He had a client’s call to return.

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with a leading Tulsa divorce attorney.

Divorcing a Control Freak in Oklahoma Requires Strategy

It has been well documented that divorcing a narcissist can be a very difficult obstacle to overcome. With that said, divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma presents a whole new bag of issues and challenges for many individuals, as a “my way or the highway” attitude is the calling card of many control freaks.

Divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma

Simply put: this is not the type of mindset any party should be subjected to in what is supposed to be a shared and committed relationship.

If you or someone close to you is trying to end a relationship with a control freak, our experienced and accomplished team of Tulsa divorce attorneys at Fry & Elder empathize with the challenges you are facing and wish to offer some strategies to incorporate when divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma.

Self-Preservation is a Must

If you have been involved in a serious relationship with a control freak, chances are your self-esteem has taken a hit. This, however, should not be the case.

By seeking to end the toxic relationship, you have taken arguably the biggest step in reclaiming your life.

Keep moving forward.

Seek out friends and family to interact with and lean on, particularly during rough times. Think about trying out different activities such as taking up CrossFit, a cooking class or attending a Meetup group which will allow you to further showcase your individualism and newfound independence.

Tulsa immigration law

Document Everything

Whether you are divorcing a narcissist or a control freak, it is important that you keep records of all correspondence, including text messages, emails, voicemails and social media messaging/posts. This will help you further validate and reinforce your ex’s controlling patterns.

Documentation could also be particularly useful to your attorney when he or she advocates for you in court or in mediation.

Establish Boundaries

This likely won’t be easy, but establishing boundaries will be vital in your quest to terminate a relationship with a control freak.

One boundary you could establish would be to limit correspondence to only one communication channel (email) to correspond with your ex. You may even want to take it a step further and limit communication with your ex to just one day per week.

If you have children, another boundary you likely would want to implement would be to have a neutral pickup and drop-off location that’s open to the public so that you have witnesses should your ex act hostile toward you.

Annual Association of Family and Conciliation Courts Conference

Understand the Core Issue Behind a Controlling Personality

In establishing boundaries and limitations, it is important to understand that at the root of most control freaks are deeply-rooted issues with anxiety.

As Psychology Today pointed out in a 2015 article:

“While there are some out there who are controlling because they are into power or feel entitled and expect the world to go their way, for most controlling people it’s all about anxiety. Control is a bad solution—but it’s not the problem.

“Often such people grew up in chaotic environments, or with anxious or even abusive parents. As children they walked on eggshells, looking over their shoulders. To cope, they became hypervigilant—always on alert, always anticipating problems.”

Why the Need for an Experienced Attorney When Divorcing a Control Freak in Oklahoma

Divorcing a control freak in Oklahoma or anywhere else presents a difficult set of challenges, making it all the more imperative to consult with an experienced Tulsa divorce attorney as soon as possible.

Fry & Elder’s team of family law attorneys are some of the most decorated in the state and include the following:

Fry & Elder has also been named to the U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List each of the past five years.

Contact Fry & Elder today to set up a personal consultation with an established and experienced Tulsa divorce attorney.

Why A Qualified Domestic Relations Order Is Important In A Divorce

If you are contemplating or are on the brink of going through a divorce, and you want to ensure that you will receive your Erisa-qualified retirement assets, you would be wise to have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order prepared by an experienced and knowledgeable team of Tulsa family law attorneys.

Qualified Domestic Relations Order

Below are a few answers to some of the more commonly asked question about Quality Domestic Relations Orders or QDROs from the Tulsa family law firm of Fry & Elder.

What is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order and why the need for one?

The fact of the matter is going through a divorce is difficult enough without the added pressure of dividing retirement funds. If a premarital agreement was not written up then generally any assets that have been acquired by either party during a marriage are considered marital. Things like contributions to a retirement plan by the employee or employer are included.

QDROs are important documents because they are required for things for 401(k)s, pensions, 403(b)s and some other retirement plans that you might have set up with your company.

Why consult with an experienced family law attorney to draft out a Qualified Domestic Relations Order?

Like a lot of things associated with divorce and specifically the financial aspects of divorce, QDROs are more complex than you might initially think.

While there are some outlets that include model language on how a QDRO should be written up, an experienced family law attorney will help minimize the risks of any potential errors. This is all the more important through the review and approval process before you hand it over to the court to be signed as an order and ultimately get it incorporated into the Final Judgement of Dissolution of Marriage.

Experience the Fry & Elder Difference

Since 1932, the name Fry & Elder has been synonymous with Oklahoma legal excellence.

The firm has been named to highly-regarded U.S. News & World Report’s Best Law Firms List each of the past five years and its attorneys include the following:

As you can see, the division of retirement assets during a divorce can be tricky and time consuming, making it all the more important to utilize the services of a well versed Tulsa family law attorney, particularly to make sure that everything is properly divided through the implementation of a well thought out Qualified Domestic Relations Order.

Contact Fry & Elder today to get started on your Qualified Domestic Relations Order.